Sometimes you just dont see what other people see. Whether its the good the bad or the ugly. Sometimes you just arent seeing what others do.

Yes im back on the christmas help kick again! Im sorry, its just been kind of one of those things.

B at the school gave me umpteen reasons why she suggested us for help, D and B and C here have said many nice things about me. My friend in life B also has said a lot.

I just dont understand why i cant see what they see in me. Hell even at work last night i didnt get it. The boss's daughter was telling me no you cant leave me. Hell ive seen that girl come out of her shell a bit, at least around me. Found out today that i guess, im one of the few people she will open up around. This girl would just sit at the table and read and not talk. Now shes laughing and joking right along with me.

I know deep down im a good person. I may not be the most moral or whatever, but when it counts and when it matters...bottom line is im a good person. I dont live my life the way others think i should, and maybe their right. But im living it without turning into a raging psycho bitch.

Just because i know im a good person doesnt mean i can fully believe it. Though my words and actions towards others and even those im close to should make me believe it.

Yes, im going to hell and taking the RV, but ill have company of the best kind. Even if its just as a ride for them to get to the good place lol.

I have been blessed with the kindness of others this holiday. I appreciate it. I may not be able to stomach it because i put myself there, but i appreciate it. I am accepting it, and im just so greatful.

The company that adopted my family this year called today. She told me how they raise the money for their adopt a family program. They save popcans all year and then cash them in. They also donate a little bit of their money as well. It makes me glad that people will do this. Ive contributed in the past and even though im broke this year, im throwing loose change into the red pots. Still trying to teach my kids the value of people and doing good things.

This will give me a chance to teach my child about generosity. To teach her that if your fortunate enough to have stuff you should give back. To just pay it forward. She may only be 3 but by the time ive gotten her raised ill have talked enough to her that all those little lessons will be engrained into her head.

Heres to seeing what others see, be it good or bad!