Just got back from taking Mae to school and filling out what we would like for Christmas. The lady at the school told me that since we are a small family that the company adopting us might be able to help another family too.

Well i went in with a list of like 5 things for Mae and a list of 2 things for me. Why be greedy? Its not about being greedy. Its about just getting a few more things because i just cant do it.

Well um i guess your supposed to be kind of greedy when you do this. I have been trying to teach Mae and Katie when she was younger that you always put in the red pot. I feel horrible, not as horrible, but still horrible that im asking for help. The lady told me that i didnt need to feel bad since im out looking for a better job, im taking care of Mae, i get her to school on time and clean every day, and we try to do things with the school. That with all the things my friends here and in the flesh have said, im not feeling so bad. But i think i will always remember this as the Christmas that i just sucked!

Anyways i need to stop complaining. I just cant help it lol.

I got online last night and was looking at stuff for Mae. You know were all walmart shoppers lol. I found a couple things that i thought shed like. And then it wasnt enough for her list lol. We ended up putting books, and dolls, and barbies, and a new place mat. This is on top of the underwares and socks that you just have to put on there. I really hope that out of Mae's list they get her the pajama set. She would absolutely flip out over that! Its got jamas, a blindfold, slippers, and a carrying bag!

Then grandpa told me he didnt want anything, well the lady told me lol tough hes getting something lol. So i put down a sweater for him, and then of course taco bell gift certificates, and candy and pie lol. I told her he didnt want anything and when i started to tell him about it, he wanted to get lippy lol. Told him dont worry i only asked for blah blah, didnt tell him about the sweater lol. He was ok with that.

Then it came to me! I had only written down two things for when i got there. I would really like a zip front hoodie, and again my eyebrows waxed lol. Well i ended up asking for bedding, pillows, a gift cert to the vid store, pyrex, cookie sheets, and an electric skillet...along with deodarent and shampoo. Again...i wasnt doing this for me! I was doing this for help with Mae!

I think that with the last couple paychecks i have before Christmas...it will end up being nice. Thank you to the kindness of strangers! Ill feel a bit down but ill know that teaching the kids about charity is one lesson...learning how to accept charity when needed is another. Hopefully they dont have to learn that lesson for a long long time!

Heres to accepting!