Well the corporate office called me back. Took all my information and they dont see it the way i and others do. I guess then that should mean that all family trees are straight up and down. They never branch out and there are never any other families made from that big part of the tree that we all branch out from.

Oh and in answer to my hypothetical about the asshole, yea he wouldnt be able to do it either. Because Mae was in the picture. Funny i didnt know that the asshole was my family, hes just the one guy who got the lucky sperm to hit my unused egg.

So ill be irritated and ill be robbing peter to pay paul, but ill have my pictures because SOMEONE actually understood what i was saying and actually went duh i get it.

Oh yea...and ill be getting another phone call from these people. I dont know why, i already told them how rude the people were to me. And i will not be using their services EVER because once your shitty theres more than a vague possibility that the people will be shitty again.

Heres to trying to let the little shit go and Poor Peter lol.

Like a dog that wont let go of the bone, im on rant like 3 about this picture situation. Hell my mom even came up with a couple other questions that should be asked. I mean if you can only have one per promotional period, um when does the promotion end? There information doesnt have it. Why not? Um could it be because its an ongoing promotion with no end date?

So as i sat here and stewed and stewed and then got all stirred up again, another question popped into my head! What about parents who are no longer with their childs parent.

So i go in at 1pm on Tuesday with Mae and i get the special package. The asshole has an appointment scheduled for 2pm with the Mae, does he still get the special package? I mean its the same subject in them, but we are definitly 2 different families. I mean i do not consider the asshole as part of my family any longer. The only thing we have in common is MY beautiful Mae.

So does this mean that the asshole would be punished because i went in an hour earlier and used the package? Does this mean that Mae isnt part of his family?

Obviously the situation im speaking of is hypothetical, but it isnt improbable! Where does it stop? I think when i talk to my mom again ill throw that one out at her. If the stupid fuckers at the corporate customer service call me back, ill be asking that one as well.

Hell the last time Mae had pictures taken was for TBall. We take our own pictures. We do studio pictures for special special occasions! Its not like we would be there every day for a month, year, century trying to get something on them.

Heres to my inability to put this bone down, so sorry!

Its funny how one company says no way and another company says sure all we have to do is set two appointments at two different times. Jeeez i knew i wasnt insane when i was figureing this out in my head.

So after my blog rant i called Sears. They promised to call me back with an answer and set the appointment. Well 60 dollars in sitting fees later, i have my two appointments with the package price.

Funny how one company sees the difference in the families, even when the people are the same except for that 1 person who is paying for THEIR PACKAGE! Funny how their sale/promotional price is honored for two different appointments.

I still think im going to call that other place's corporate offices and ask them for their actual reasoning. Hell if it was a problem of a sitting fee, which they dont have, i would have paid for a sitting fee. We just need the package and considering its a one day in town only thing...grrr

While im not happy that 60 dollars i could have spent at the other place for pictures is now going towards sitting fees, im happy that i got what i wanted.

Really really funny how some people just spit out a scripted line, yet another company will go the extra mile, granted it was a 60 dollar mile, they went that extra mile!

Heres to that extra mile!

I stand corrected! Its been almost 3 1/2 years since there was a Katie day. God it just keeps getting better and better.

I also think its stupid that you cant set up two appointments with two different people for a package price on pictures and have the people you want in your appointments picture package. Its called being greedy fucking bastards. The studios say because the subjects are the same you cant do this. Seriously if you talk it out, its two people, two appointments, two different pictures. Yes the subjects are the same because to be family you have to be the same. BUT making 2 appointments for 2 different people where there is a difference in people for their family picture should be allowed. I mean come on...My family and my grandpas family are two different families within a family. Thats two different sets!

God it just makes me furious! 3 1/2 years ago thats the last time we had a family picture taken. Now my grandpa would like to have pictures at my insisting of course lol, but its still two different people, two different familes. Why o Why must they be such greedy bastards!!!!

Hell you know im not just going to spend the 9.99 plus sitting fee plus fees for extra persons. They are making money, dont think they arent. Hell you go to the big place i got Maes first pictures taken at. You pay the sitting fee for everyone and then you pick out a package. Doesnt matter if its one person or twenty. You can all get that package.

God the best thing about this irritation is i can put a lot of my frustration and anger at 3 1/2 YEARS somewhere else.

At least the lady at Sears is willing to make a phone call, hell she was even willing to just do it if the timing was right. Unfortunatly the timing isnt quite right! Unless of course i can figure out how to get someone to trade my friday for a different day earlier in the week.

Heres to getting One day with family.

My house is clean! All thats left is a huge pile of laundry and my room. Brigitte came over and shes a machine. Once we started we were started! I ran out to buy a broom and some sos and i came back to the living room almost done. This is why i asked for help. What would have taken me the whole day really only took close to two hours.

Its so much easier to throw things away when you have someone else with you. Im not a horder horder or anything, but i have a hard time throwing stuff away. I get it from my grandpa. He cant throw anything away. We have magazines from the 70s and there may be a few from the 60s! Its not pretty lol.

I told Brigitte if she wouldnt have been here id have found a reason to keep stuff. To shove it in another corner somewhere. Lost and forgotten, never to be used again. Seriously its hard sometimes to just throw stuff away.

But we got the house clean and later were going to a movie. My treat...no matter how much she bitches lol. Were going to see Halloween 2. Men are stupid. I dont know how many times i have to say it, but yea men are stupid. I was supposed to see this with John, but when i texted him last week to tell him the movie came out on the 28th, he said that he could go it was his vacation. Yea he was wrong lol. This week i was texting him about the movie and he was like i have to work this friday, my vacation starts next week. Um...ok you forgot when your vacation started. You totally didnt understand my texts and seriously...men are just stupid lol. So he offered for next friday but i have to work and its labor day weekend. Ive got plans all weekend long lol.

Maybe we will be able to go out another time. I just really want to see this movie on the UltraScreen and ive only been waiting FOREVER for this movie to come out. There are other movies we can go then. If he isnt in stupid man mode lol.

Also thanks to my brilliant friend Brigitte i have decided to do some adding and subtracting for Katies visit. I cutting out lunch and instead going to have OUR FAMILY portrait done. I was cleaning off the table and i picked up the pictures we had done when Mae was just a baby. I think its time we have a new one made.

Wow..you know to be honest, i think that was the last time Katie was with me alone. This was when i lived with the asshole. She came and spent the night. Wow 2 1/2 years! It makes me sad! Because i know how hard i have rallyed and railed to have time with her. 2 1/2 years since i last spent a day with MY FAMILY.

I didnt realize that until just then. I lost it for a minute there. I wonder if anyone else realizes how longs its been since we were together.That realization brought me to tears and sobs. I try so hard to not feel and to be angry about the situation. Its easier to be angry then to feel the heartache. God...it was the right decision for Katie....it wasnt the right decison for me. I have to keep reminding myself that i dont get to be selfish. That Katie is worth this and so much more.

They tell you its the hardest job and some days it doesnt seem so hard. The days its hard really suck!

Heres to parental responsibility over selfishness.

Im so exhausted lol. Man this getting up at 730 and off at 830 is wearing on me. I havnt been sleeping very well. I get in bed and sleep just wont come. Then when it finally does come im up about 2 hours later. Thank god its the weekend!

Last night im working and i get a message on my phone. "Why is your ex calling me?" I was like huh what my ex? Yea he called and i didnt hear the phone and he didnt leave a message. WTF? Why the hell is the asshole calling my friend? Unless of course the asshole has another kim in the phone and screwed up. But just like the asshole is, the asshole didnt respond when i texted asking why the call.

Heres the low down when it comes to my friends and the asshole. Only one of my friends will even deal with him. Thats because the asshole had something my friend wanted. All of my other friends CANT STAND THE ASSHOLE!! Well if your friend had been beaten and bruised would you want to associate with that person? The obvious answer is no.

My girlfriends only deal with the asshole if i need someone to drop Mae off. My guy friends wouldnt mind if the asshole fell into a hole and never crawled out.

The only person who was ever in my life that wanted to stay connected to the asshole, turned out to not be my friend but a worthless piece of flesh. Those two deserved each other. I mean come on like finds like.

Hell the asshole told my mom and my friend that what the asshole said should stay between them. LOL my friends are my friends and are loyal to me. I have heard every single thing the asshole has tried to say to my family and friends. Its hard to con a person when they have either been on the phone when things were said or when they were there. Or when it comes down to it, im not the liar! The asshole has that distinction.

Now we are just wondering who the asshole is going to call next. See what the deal is. I mean truly honestly....out of everyone who has met the asshole, only one person still talks to the asshole...well i cant say that for sure because i dont talk to the twitch lol.

Heres to friends who know what loyalty means! Gotta love the stupidity of others.

Im doing it again! Im inviting heartbreak and heartache into my life! My hopes are up and im prepared to have them dashed. Im prepared for my temper tantrum if all this happens. Im ready for the horrible gut wrenching pain that comes with disappointment.

There is a very slim possibility that my oldest daughter will come up here to spend the day with me, grandpa, and Mae. That she wont be under the watchful eye of my sister, supreme bitch, the one katie feels the need to call mom being there to make sure that nothing is said or done or whatever the hell it is she's afraid of.

Now i just have to rearrange my schedule a little bit so i can get things done before she comes up here. I have about 2 weeks to get everything settled.

My mom didnt want to say anything to me, but she did, because, in my opinion, she knew i needed to hear it. Even though she knows how i react to that kind of disappointment.

Im sorry but where katie is concerned i lose all my self control, my mind, and literally will throw a tantrum like a 3 year old i know! Yes i know its wrong, but for me, if i dont then all of it festers. Even a good blogging doesnt help.

So im setting myself up for this ultimate feeling of crappiness. Hell they all may change their minds and me getting excited is for nothing!

Ive already got her visit planned. Its been about 6 hours since i heard this news and ive got plans made in my head! Since she would be coming in for the day with my mom, that means she would be here a bit before 8. Well that means mama gets to make a big breakfast for all of us.

Ill make scrambled eggs with cheese, sausage or bacon, and have juice and milk(a combo of white, chocolate, and strawberry) all waiting for when she comes in the door.

Then for lunch we will actually go out and go up to my work for subs. Who doesnt like subs? And she can see where her mom is working now and try the bestest subs EVER.

Then after lunch if she wants we can get a movie, or we can just come back to the house and hang out.

I know it may seem like im trying to impress katie, but its not that i want to impress her. I want to mother her, and do those kinds of things that i do for Mae. She used to be treated like that, but i think shes forgotten that though i may have been the crap mom, i did have a lot of good mom qualities.

Anytime i get with katie is precious. I want to fill them with memories she will remember and maybe eat away at whatever is around her heart towards me. Hell as it is im making her a cake and buying her a birthday cake, im getting balloons and taking them to my moms so the iowa side can have Katies birthday.

Screw that not celebrating or whatever im all for whoopin it up because she deserves to be celebrated just like Mae is celebrated. Just like my mom is, just like my grandpa is!

Heres to knowingly putting myself in a position to have my heartbroken while riding the tide of excitement.

Its begun! Another one is off to school to start her life. Oh what a day! Yes, i cried! No, i didnt cry in front of Mae or anyone. But i cried. My baby is now a little girl who is going out into the real world to be influenced, shaped, and molded by people who had better do a damn good job!

I did her first day of school right! I didnt sleep for crap last night. Not sure if it was because i was nervous, or i was just scared because i have to give my baby over to the teachers, who had better do a damn good job! Doesnt matter because i was up before the alarm.

I got up and ran Mae a bubble bath. A special treat for the first day of school. I dont give her many bubble baths because they can hurt her. But today was a special day, Bubble Bath it was. I even bought the bubble bath special yesterday for her. I know im stupid!

I went into her room singsonging Good morning MaeMae, its time to get up, first day of school, mama has a bubble bath for you. While she didnt quite spring up immediately, the smile i got when she sat up was worth it all.

I think she may have been a little dazed lol because it took her a minute or 5 to get into the swing of bathtime lol. AND even told me she had to get out to go poopoo. She didnt go, but hey she told me and im all for false alarms if they get us to our goal of being potty trained.

I would have done a special breakfast for her but they give them breakfast and lunch. One parent at orientation was all im not making my child wait till 830 to eat. I was like dang, what kind of child do you have? Mae gets up and doesnt eat right away. It takes anywhere from 30 minutes on up towards the 2 hour mark before she wants anything more than something to drink. I have no problem with her eating breakfast and lunch at school! Its all about being in public, social etiqutte along with just plain being able to be in a social setting.

We have done a good job, but were family. Theres a big difference between family and the outside. Im hoping she adjusts well. I think she will. It was neat seeing the kids all eating together. Its the kind of socialization that they need to get a good start at life.

Its never a good thing to be low income or flat broke, but the one good thing about it is qualifying for headstart. Headstart preschool is a great thing! Im hoping that Mae really takes to the structure and can learn a few things. She will have 2 years of headstart and then on to kindergarten. God, 2 years isnt that long at all.

I love that girl so very much. She needs a break from me as much as i need breaks from her. This is one of those times that i can feel absolutely comfortable where she is at. I know that this is one of those places that will take as good care of her as i do. Maybe that feeling in my chest isnt just tears, but pressure being released. This is the begining for Mae and im glad that it was shared with my grandpa.

I made him stay home last night so he could take her to the first day of school. My grandpa has seen my childrens first days of school and that in itself was special.

Its been a big day here and its not even 10 yet.

Heres to all the new beginings.

You know now that i want to try to put a damn video in my blog its not going to let me. Some how im not that technically advanced lol. I just dont have the power over modern machinery lol.

I had an awesome time Thursday! Shinedown kicked ass. Though it did seem like the singer needs to take a little break. His poor voice. Ive seen them in concert before so i know how they can rock. Especially how they can rock a shit ass place like McElroy with its bad sound and just plain littleness. He had a bit of trouble on a few songs it seemed hitting those big high notes and screams.

Thats quite all right though, because the audience took over where he couldnt get. It was like his mic would cut out but then youd realize he just wasnt getting there cuz of his throat. Poor guy, but im thankful they came and ROCKED THE FUCK OUT OF US!

Now to keep my fingers crossed that bands i like come to town this winter. I like a lot of radio stuff and just dont know the bands. Like Avenged Sevenfold, i like there radio stuff, but i could never tell you who it is that sings it. Brigitte drags me to this stuff lol and i let her cuz i love it lol.

Its sad though when your watching one of your favorite bands and they start playing songs and your like....dude i didnt know they did this song, i freakin love this song. Eh its part of my charm i guess lol.

This weekend is going to go by too fast! I can already feel it! Though i must confess im really not looking forward to work tonight. I have a feeling its just going to be dramafest 2009 and i wont be looking to pretty at the end. Lucky for me non of the drama involves me. Though to be truthful it could have been me lol. I know all the players, i know all the stories, and some of the secrets im still holding. Yea isnt work drama lovely! And we work with knives and slicers lol.

Oh well its all gravy as long as the check keeps coming in.

Heres to oh so much fun work drama, and the fact that GAS DOESNT GROW ON TREES!

**Wooooo my video showed up! Forgive the singing along lol, but i just couldnt keep quiet lol...oh and i have little vid clips up on youtube if you want to see more!

Once again i find myself conflicted when it comes to the asshole. As a parent who has been cut out of a lot of my childs life, i do feel some sympathy for the asshole because another part of his childs life is going to be cut off from him.

While i feel that conflict because of my own situation. Im not going to stop myself from being part of what keeps the asshole cut out. The assholes actions on many many occasions over the past 5 years has helped me come to forgive myself for leaning towards the cutting him out part.

This person is not able to act appropriately in a social setting. I dont know why and it is no longer my place to try to fix that. Because of this very big problem, along with the fact that there is no longer any meaningful conversation between us. The asshole is going to be missing out on Mae's first steps into her life.

Today we had our headstart preschool orientation. Ohhh how sweet that is, as i hold back the tears because 3 years has gone by so fast. She is such a big girl and such a good sweet girl! My family, my meaningful friends, and me have raised her well. So far so good, lets all knock on some wood.

She still cries when i leave her at daycar, but today when i left the room to go do the adult portion of orientation. She didnt cry or look scared in the least.

We got to her room and we found her name tag. They moved her name tag around and she found it right away. She can track lol. Then the teachers were introducing themselves, Hi my name is Miss Mary, Miss Rhonda and another Miss, sorry there were a lot of new faces i forgot, nice to meet you and put out their hand to shake. And MY MAE! Oh My Mae...she put her little hand out and shook their hands like a big girl and said Hi Miss Mary, Miss Rhonda, Miss....and she even got out nice to meet you to one of them. Ohhhhh it was so good to see that all our hard work was fruitful.

I cant imagine having missed that. To read it is one thing, im pretty sure i convey how my heart swelled with love and pride for what we have accomplished. But to be there in person to see it, to actually feel that feeling of when your child does something and does it appropriately and the way they should. Ooo its a big great feeling.

Do you see where the conflict is coming in? Who would really want to miss their childs first steps into life? I guess when it comes to later in life when Mae asks why her dad wasnt at stuff ill have to find a way to explain to her how he has acted and continues to act in public.

I cant take the chance of the asshole being there or showing up and being inappropriate. Some of the things the asshole has said is so inappropriate that im not even going to explain it here. I tried to explain it to the asshole but the asshole doesnt care, because the same behavior continues.

So for the sake of my sanity, my childs well being, and the start of her new life....im going to once again have to make the hard choices. Sometimes though these hard choices are made easier because of others peoples actions, reactions. All the school needs to know is that the situation isnt pretty and because of that me and my family are the ones who will be the responsible parties to Mae and her education, health and well being.

Believe it or not i do feel kind of bad for the asshole. The only thing that makes it better is knowing that i am not the one who put the asshole in this situation. That this isnt a position that i really wanted to be in, but i have no control over others actions, reactions, words, and whatever else. My job is to make sure Mae is happy and healthy and so far im doing a pretty good job.

Heres to Monday.... a new start for Mae, a new naptime, and all the joys being 3 brings.

Well if you read my blogs in order this will come as no surprise. I had a nasty belly this morning. I refused to believe in myself and not hurt the refridgerator lol. Yes food is my drug of choice. Lucky for me i had sweets in the house! Ever see that Gilmore Girls episode where the girls get drunk and kirk is all sugar hang overed. Yea that was me this morning.

Ive been pretty productive this morning even though im still feeling from yesterday. I got the dishes done and a good lunch in the oven. I made a trip to the library. All i have left to do is get the girl and me bathed and were good to go. I see a nap in our future though at about 1 lol.

Today is a blah day because of the weather. Its overcast and its supposed to rain. Trying to get excited about tomorrow and then Brig tells me its going to rain. Im like who cares they will still play. So we are most likely going to be wet tomorrow lol.

Ahh the weekend is fast approaching. I had the weekend off lol but now im working. Schedule changes because a chick quit are good for the pocket but bad on the social life. Oh well my liver can use another weekend off.

I could probably go out Friday after i get off work, but id have to take clothes with me. Im not running to pick mae up, dropping mae off, then running back home to change, then out again to find where everyone is at. Since i dont have any gas assistance from the asshole who agreed with the money i was asking and then only gave me half the money, ONE TIME, and i havnt seen any since. Between daycare and gas to the kids dads, im one broke lady!

Well i better get my butt in gear and go love on the Mae. Mama wasnt the most loveable yesterday. I did rent her the Hannah Montana movie though. She loves it and i made sure to get it for 7 days. Maaaan, i may have to buy the movie lol.

Heres to good lunches, good friends, good concerts, and good quality time with Mae!

Today just sucks! Its my Katies birthday and i hate this day. Its a day where i dont know if the phone will be answered and was the case this year, if the text was going to be returned or not!

945am i sent my sister a text. I asked what time Katie would be home from school. I wanted to call her. My calls dont get answered at that house very often. Well i waited and waited and waited and never got a text. UNTIL.

My mom called about 1 and i was like have you spoken to her today. She said yea a couple times and not that long ago. My first words were fuck that bitch! My mom tried to say maybe she didnt get the text. Thats bullshit. My sister is hooked to her phone like a newborn to the bottle. She had to pick up the phone to call my mom, to call her friends, to all the things you do. She doesnt use her house phone. Thats the number im supposed to call to talk to Katie. If anyone can hear that low ringer to even bother to answer it. Hell they admitted they dont answer that phone because its telemarketers. Yea i know but im supposed to call.

Well my mom said that she would say something to her and that she didnt call us to get in the middle. Bullshit, your the mom, your so firmly in the middle its unreal. But then again i dont blame my mom. If my mom publicly and to the family sticks up for me, well there goes her seeing her daughter and grandkids.

Well low and behold, about 45 minutes after speaking with my mom i get a text. Telling me when she would be home and that i was to call the house. What a fucking bitch. She had the text, she got the text, she was choosing to ignore it.

The sad thing is that i call and call, and i never get anyone. Usually i have to be all upset and yelling at my mom for that fucking phone to be answered. I wish my mom would say the shit she said to my friend to my sisters face. Wont happen but hey at least she told someone i trust what she thinks.

So i call katie and its really really weird. Its like its no big deal her birthday today. Hell its been talked about her for the last couple weeks. Asked her what she was doing and she said nothing. I asked her about going out to eat and she informs me she doesnt do that kind of thing or like it. Who the hell doesnt like going out for their birthday supper? Especially in this family. Hell we have all already gotten our christmas and birthday presents by the time those days come along, all we get is a dinner out. My grandpa was even shocked and confused and a little amused by her saying that. Thats how odd it really is in our family.

Birthdays are a big deal to us. If Katie was living with us she would have had balloons cake and a dinner out. Maybe not a party because at 15 who the hell knows what they want, it changes from minute to minute. But we would have whooped it up for her and in honor of her birthday.

If i could today i would just stay all fucked up, but i cant. I wrote in Katies birthday card that she wont ever know how much i love her and that i hope one day she will know and understand how much she effects my life every day. And thats the truth. She does effect my life everyday. How come you think i try so hard to be right and do right by Mae. I know the consequences. Katie is my reminder of what good parenting is for. So you have your kids with you. So that your kids love you. I wish the reason for Katie being gone was i was a bad parent, but its not. I made choices that i shouldnt have. I learned that kids dont get to make the decisions. That kids are kids and when you have no more patience you better borrow a cup from somewhere.

Yea today really kind of sucks! One day, i pray and beg and plead, that one day, Katie will be grown enough to get it, hear it, understand it, process it, and come to the right conclusions and see where she has been and continues to be manipulated. I hope its before its too late, i hope that it comes about in a manner thats not forced and manipulated. I just want to be with my daughter again and because im not selfish enough, she isnt with me. I want her home, but im not going to fuck her up like that by taking her out of her home. I dont always get what i want, so i deal.

Heres to dealing without binging on food and alcohol and any of the million other self destructive things out there!

*i am weak, and the fridge got hurt lol*

Road trip to my moms house tomorrow. Hopefully the weather is nice enough that we can swim. Heck maybe we will just go out in the boat.

The only bad thing is that i have to pick her up tonight. The asshole doesnt know how to send her back not reeking like an ashtray. Sooo Mae gets screwed on spending more than one night.

You would think that people would figure out that if you follow the rules set by life and society you would be a little happier. They dont so they bitch and moan about how they are persecuted, people are out to get them, etc etc.

I prefer to do things that conform to society. I know why conform. Because when you conform, unfortunately or fortunately, your life tends to be easier. You tend to be more prosperous. Not only in money but in everything else you want in life.

I have the weekend to not conform and to be wild. The rest of the time i bend to the will of society and make my little place as happy as it can be.


Heres to life....may we live it the way we want in a way that doesnt harm anyone. Hmm on that note i think a certain asshole forgot that its harm none do as you will.

It was a great Friday night! I had my mandatory phone call going on when i dropped Mae off at the assholes. So i didnt have to pay attention to anything but the door closing. It goes without saying and making sure Mae wasnt near the car.

Picked up the guys and hit the bar. LOL got there and they only had one Corona. Lucky for me my cousins own the bar, and the cousin who was there; was more than willing to go buy Corona. Hell they only had lemon, but wherever he got the beer had limes. Yay we had limes! We put a nice dent into whatever he bought lol.

Then there was a mini house party! Yay houseparty! Its not often that im around for those house parties. Lucky for me my friends love me and get that even though i know they are going to continue to house party, i have to be responsible and go home. God i would have loved to stay and partied. But i have a Mae and i have to work tomorrow.

Now im sitting here blogging about how i had a really great night. Hell i had a really great Friday. I had a lunch date, went swimming, hit the bar, house partied, and now am home. Enjoying that its just me. Enjoying that i have the next 12 hours to do whatever i want. What i want is to do NOTHING! And im going to do just that!

Heres to time off to just do NOTHING!

Phewwwwwww its been a long day! Our lunch date was great! So much better then the drinks we had a few weeks ago. When i told my mom we had a date, she was like i thought you werent going to see him again because of the bad drinks. Well hey i like the company of a nice guy as much as the next person. It turned out good.

It was funny Mae was all excited to go to lunch and then turned all shy! I dont get her sometimes lol but then i dont think i want to know the inner workings of a 3 yr olds mind lol.

Then we headed to the pool. We had a good time, though we had our share of accidents. Mae fell off the slide. Maaaaaan that was fun. I was standing toward the end of the slide and was half glancing back to the stairs. She made it up just fine. Some how she slipped and fell backwards. I was grabbing for her legs, her hair, her suit, i just wasnt able to get her. So bloop there she went. She got up and we dusted her off and she was fine. Scary for mama though.

I tell you what, i saw good parents and i saw bad parents. I really truly appreciate good parents. They are the ones, like me, who are trying to teach their kids manners, and social niceties. Other parents werent paying attention to their kids, their kids werent listening to the lifeguards, were the ones pushing other kids, and just plain ass being rude. I get that we were at the pool but when does that mean you dont watch your kids or discipline them?

I mean hell i was there trying to teach mae the joy of the line. Some kids were just shoving and pushing. I dont get why these big kids have to play in the area thats for littler kids. I mean if your big enough that your knees are out of this water then maybe your a bit big for the area. Then the one little girl who thought it was fun to sit at the top of the slide and order the other kids, putting her hands on them to make them go down, then later the same little girl telling my Mae that she had to get off the floating device, she wanted on. OH hell no! Where the hell was her mama so i could be like ya know shes big enough to wait her turn, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

We only spent a couple hours there because i couldnt deal with all the heathens. Yes i know mae will be one one day, but im hoping that i will have taught her better. That she wont be the pusher or the shover, but will be the one helping other kids.

Even though i may have bitched here, we had a really good day! So good that its now 5 and Mae is taking a nap lol. There was no way i was dealing with Mae after all this excitement and no nap. How do i know she needed a nap? I put her in bed, she screamed for less than a minute, i checked and shes passed out lol. Hey at least ill be sending a happy Mae to her daddys tonight lol.

Heres to Fridays.....ahhh i see refreshments in my future!

Yayyyy I survived another night at work! It was looking pretty bad there for a minute. For some reason tonight everyone wanted to come in for subs. It was a good thing Amie and i took it upon ourselves to not just hang out and actually did some of our check list waaaaaaay before we were supposed to.

Its funny maybe its because we start early that we get busy. One other time we started early and baaaaam got hit. Hmmm maybe we will have to discuss this and see what we think lol.

Tomorrow is friday, yay friday! Friday is always a good day! I only have to make it till 9 pm without totally killing Mae and then mama gets like 36 hours of alone time. Even though its not really alone lol, its close enough lol.

Tomorrow we also have a lunch date! John texted me tonight and we both have tomorrow off. He invited us for lunch. So its chinese buffet tomorrow. Mae is really excited. I told her in the car that we were going to lunch with john and she pretty much lost it lol.

She sat in the back just going on and on about lunch with her friend John. John and her was getting chinese. Then she found out that its not lunch time right now and really lost it! She was crying because we came home and werent going to go see John.

I really think i did break him because i told him about Mae and what she was saying and he was like i cant believe she remembers me. Um hello...there was about a month there where she saw enough of him to create a memory. Hell he went to the fair with us and we had lunches. She remembers the good ones. I think he just thinks that i was blowing smoke when i said lets stay friends and blah blah.

Guess its really a good thing i didnt have sex, it probably would be worse. I just hope that tomorrow he is feeling better about whatever was bothering him the last time we did something. Because maaaaaaaaan he has his work cut out for him at the end of the month when we have our movie date lol. Ill have to tell him that hes my big bad protector lol cuz im a scardy cat!

I hope that we can stay friends and do stuff together because i really did have a good time with him. I just wasnt and still am not ready to commit to a sexual relationship. I just cant afford to get that emotionally involved.

Heres to not killing ourselves at the Chinese Buffet!

Witches of Eastwick! First a book, then a movie, and now possibly a tv series. Will i be watching this one? Im thinking thats a big yes! I loved the movie and the promo for the tv series it seems like is going to follow the movie. Yes weve already seen the movie, but the promo looked kind of funny and good. Well ill see about the good lol.

The book and movie to me were a lot different. It followed the book but wasnt like the book. The book was hard for me to read. It wasnt as fun i guess as the movie.

The movie was one of those movies i wasnt supposed to watch when it came out on VHS, lol, yes that long ago. But my friend had it at her house and we watched it. I thought it was great.

Finally another show that i can deal with being redone. The only other remake that i liked alot was Rob Zombies Halloween. Hell i was watching that last night. Cant wait for the weekend of the 28th. Thats when H2 comes out. I have plans to go see that with John.

I was talking to Brigitte last night and i was like i need a big man to go see that movie with lol. Johns the kind of guy you can watch a scary movie with. Bring on the movies!!

And just cuz im excited 7 more days till Shinedown and most important 5 more days till Katies 15th birthday.


Heres to Life.

OH MY HERE WE GO! ANOTHER LOOSE CANNON GONE BIPOLAR SLIPPED DOWN COULDNT GET MUCH LOWER, QUICK SANDS GOT NO SENSE OF HUMOR, IM STILL LAUGHING LIKE HELL!

Yes, that would be one of my favoritest Shinedown songs. The whole CD is pretty great. Why am i quoting song lyrics? No ive not gone mad and run out of things to blog about. No ive not lost my mind and ability to blog my own stuff.

IM GOING TO FUCKING SHINEDOWN!!!!!! OMG im so excited! We kinda have crappy seats from what the seating chart says, BUT WHO FUCKING CARES!! WERE GOING TO SHINEDOWN!!!!!

OMG im so excited! I owe Brigitte like 39 bucks, but thats ok. She takes payments lol. Oh its going to be a good time! Were taking her oldest daughter. its going to be her first concert. That is if she still gets to go. The girl crashed her moms computer yesterday..soooo ya know.

BUT we are going to Shinedown. We saw them last winter and while i thought i liked them, i didnt know i REALLY liked them! Ohh i cant wait! The concert season is almost upon us! I cant wait to see who comes to town this year.

Thats big news number 1, there is a number 2! My friend Brigitte hates me! Thats just all there is to it. First she tried to get me to go walking this summer. Well that never happened because life got away from us.

Getting ready for work yesterday she calls with her brilliant idea. Something she wants to do but doesnt want to do alone. Out of all her friends, she calls me! Oh joy o joy! And im not even the fattest friend!

She wants to take a step aerobics class but doesnt want to go alone. Since i dont mind embarassing myself in public, i knew that would bite me in the ass one day, she calls me. Goooood lord! Its like she read my blog or something about wanting to lose 15 lbs lol. She didnt, she just doesnt want to go alone lol.

I tried to say no, i tried to be fatty mcfatterson. I said let me call my mom and see if i can get her to give it to me as a birthday present. Its only 29 bucks, but on my budget, 29 bucks can break you. That or leave you on the side of the road without any petrol.

Mom says when do you need the money and that means your probably only going to get 50 bucks for your birthday this year, which means 20 in cash. Thats ok, i mean who really needs to drink 50 bucks worth of alcohol on their birthday lol. Ok so i do, but its ok i do have some money of my own lol. My birthday drinks are covered lol.

So at the end of the month for 9 weeks, ill be doing step aerobics on Mondays. Im damn lucky that kickboxing starts before Brigitte gets off work. Maaaaaaaan that girl is dragging me places lol cant bitch cuz ive seen where ive dragged her.

Heres to The Sound of Madness!

I know i complained about them remaking a movie a while back, but hell if i can remember what it was. Why cant i remember? Because in the grand scheme of things, its unimportant to my life. Its just something for me to bitch about lol. Like today im going to do a little bitch about another movie they are remaking! Ohhh now i remember it was Footloose! Or maybe i dont remember...i dunno anywoo

I read people online. I love gossip. I have my sources for it! On the side of the page they have links to other stories. Today i saw one that made me cringe YET AGAIN!

I love old obscure not so awesome 80s movies! I used to babysit when i was a kid and this one house had movie after movie after movie! I watched a lot of movies lol. Hell there was a second house i sat at and they had movies galore too!

I loved the movie Red Dawn! I bought it. It wasnt the biggest or best movie, but it was one that i liked. Never in my wildest nightmares did i think they would remake this one. BUT they are going to remake it. I dont get it, i dont think i want to.

I dont think it will be as good as the first one, and i dont think it will be better. But hey every actor has to get their start somewhere.

I just wonder did they really use up all the ideas for new movies? I mean all the remakes and now the cartoons that are being brought to the big screen. I wonder is GEM next? Hell i havnt watched it yet, its in the dvd player though, but Obsessed is going to be basically Fatal Attraction.

Hmmmm....Heres to new ideas!

And now for a blog about me! I need to get back on the wagon and start eating better. While i havnt gained all the weight i lost on weight watchers back. I have gained at least 15 of it back.

Its not out of control at the moment, but if i dont get on myself, it will be totally out of control.

The sad thing is that im thinking it may be time to find a man. Its a whole lot easier to find a man without this 15 lbs on me. I need to lose like oooo lets go with 190. ROFLMAO....yea you thought it! No i dont weigh 380, lol, im nowhere near that. But i am up enough that when i get on the scale i go um....i remember seeing a number i was almost ok with. Close enough to know its attainable and in not so long a time. But lazy enough that i dont want to give up eating crap and eating a lot of it.

I LOVE FOOD! I really really do! I love how it tastes, i love how it looks, i love how it lets me use it when im feeling down or up. Gawd i have no excuse! I really truly dont have any excuse. Oh wait i do, ive been lazy.

I know how to cook things that are good for me and taste good, but i dont want to change. Id rather just use a can opener then pull out a pot. I know LAZY GIRL!

I wish thinking about thinking about a man was the only reason. Im a better mom with the 15 lbs i gained back off. More energy means more out. One thing that im finding is that the computer isnt holding me back from doing things like it has in the past. I used to look forward to sitting here and snacking for hours. But now its like, what the hell is there to do on here. I can only play so many games, and i can only stare blankly for hours on end.

I need to lose some weight! I know im not lost yet because my clothes still fit me. I havnt had to go and buy bigger clothes. Thats a big plus! I havnt started the big downhill slide. I dont intend to. I also dont intend to like make big huge radical changes in my food.

Big change and me dont work well together. It adds more stress and then i want to eat. I do plan on buying more chicken. BUT i gotta have a big ass steak first lol. My body has been craving a big slab of red meat, but i havnt gotten it yet. So i think ill start with the red meat push and then hit the chicken.

Poor Poor Mae! She hates vegatables. I like my chicken cooked with veggies. Like a stir fry. I found that i can eat a lot of stir fry and i can still lose and maintain weight. But i have to make myself get that, we are eating chicken and i better find a way to get over it lol.

I think part of it is that ive been watching that stupid fox show about the fat girls. Maaaaaaaaan i am soo not one of them. Guys like fat chicks, but they dont like REALLY FAT chicks. Im sorry thats rude i know, but we all know thats true. Its hard to find a guy when your really fat, i know ive been there ive lived it. I also know that if i lose 20 lbs guys dont look at me like im really fat, they look at me like a cute fat chick.

Im thinking its time to get back into life and its easier to do it weighing less.

How stupid is that? I mean really, i know who and what i am. but there are things you have to do to just fit in more. Why is it always about fitting in? All i know is that i dont want my friends to go um hey heather....we should have told you this 6 months ago, but um, your FAT!

Heres to having food issues! Lead me not to the refrigerator.

Yay one asshole apologized today! My friend called me today and told me some really exciting news for his daughter. She is no longer a little girl! Awwww....hahaha now he has to go to the dreaded feminine hygiene aisle.

But he did apologize for last nights fight and we got that all straightened out. Im pretty happy about that. Especially since part of the fight took place while i was on the phone with his woman lol. I guess she read him a bit of the riot act today for last night. Yay! LOL i told him he didnt want her to meet me, cuz um yea they all end up liking me lol.

So onto ASSHOLE! I swear to god Sundays are just going to be blogging about the asshole!

I am really really bordering on hating the asshole and wishing for a painful death of the asshole! If i didnt need the asshole as my weekend babysitter, id cut the asshole completely out of Mae's and my life! But unfortunatly i need a weekend sitter and the asshole is it. The asshole still hasnt given me gas money and today im just fed the fuck up!

I call and tell the asshole that we are coming to get Mae so WE CAN GO FOR LUNCH! Now in my world if you call me and say im picking up the girl so we can go for lunch that means: wash her face, brush her hair, and make sure shes clean, AND NOT SMELLING LIKE A FUCKING ASHTRAY!

This is a very big problem for me! It has been a very big problem for me since she was born. I knew the asshole would never quit smoking. I had hoped the asshole would listen to the doctor and respect MY DAUGHTER!

Ive never outright called the asshole a bad parent, today that changes! DANIEL MARTIN HUNDLEY YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT, HORRIBLY BAD PARENT! YOU ARE LUCKY TO HAVE THE TIME YOU GET WITH YOUR DAUGHTER AND IF I DIDNT NEED WEEKEND DAYCARE I WOULDNT SEND HER!!!!

I believe, because of past experience, that your kids shouldnt smell like an ashtray. Their clothes shouldnt stink of it. That when you hug your kid your not supposed to get a cloud of smoke. When you hug your kid you should smell their stink or the shampoo you used on them, or if you have a Mae the perfume that she insists she get squirted with when you squirt yourself.

I have begged and pleaded with the asshole to not smoke around Mae. I have begged and pleaded with the asshole to do what the doctor says. Yes i smoke, BUT, MY DAUGHTER, when she is with me DOESNT smell like her mom is a smoker!

Why is that? BECAUSE I LISTENED TO THE FUCKING DOCTOR!!! The doctor told us when she was born that if the asshole had to smoke in the house, i wasnt smoking then, that he needed to pick ONE ROOM AND KEEP THE DOOR CLOSED!!! Guess what?? That really does work. The only room that smells of smoke in my house is my bedroom. The only person who smells like smoke in my house is me.

I understand that kids are going to be exposed to smoke out in the real world. but at home, a parent should be responsible enough and love their child enough to keep it away from them. The asshole thinks that standing in the kitchen with the stoves exhaust fan going is being in another room. Um hello the kitchen and the living room are one step from each other!!!

My mom says to let it go and thats why i havnt emailed the asshole with the choice ITS THE CIGARETTES OR YOUR DAUGHTER!! Thats what i want to do! Its horrible!

Hell the asshole wasnt even capable of giving her a bath! I dont know why i expected the asshole to at least try to be a good parent. But i did, i figured with as much as i love Mae that maybe the asshole loved her enough too.

Obviously the asshole doesnt! Im just really irritated that Me and my family are the ones who truly care about Mae. That we dont put her in harms way, EXCEPT for when i have to let her go to the assholes house.

GOD!!! SERIOUSLY!!! How did i end up being the good parent??

Heres to being good mama and daddy's.....May there be more of us!

I am so pissed off right now at this very moment its unreal! I did exactly what my friend wanted me to do and then i got shit on because of it. Yeah he may have been drunk but fuck that!!!

I did what he wanted me to do that he basically told me couldnt be done. I basically have a footing with the woman he wants to be with and then like a fucking man shit all over me!

We went out tonight and had a lot of fun and then the drinks attacked him. Ok so i get that a whole lot of apple pie shots is going to fuck a person up. Which is why i didnt do a lot of the big ol glass he had. I knew better.

So we arrived on a game plan to go to my cousins bar. I HAD A FUCKING AWESOME TIME! Despite the fact that i had to text the woman cuz he had no text.

I did what he needed! i wormed my depraved self into this girls world. I DID EVERYTHING I COULD to make sure EVERYONE understood what they were getting into.

Then the fucker shit on me because he was drunk. hes been my friend for almost 15 years so he gets a little leeway! But i will not let his drunk ass shit on me, especially when i did what he needed and wanted me to do!

AND PEOPLE WONDER why ive put men as a very low priority! FUCK THIS! i told him call me tomorrow and see if im not mad.


Because fuck this, im not going to do my best to get along with the new girl if your going to be a dick to me. I have more then him as a friend. But he places so much importance on my opinon of this girl.

GOD alcohol is not some peoples friends. Hell it was my family who bought like 3 rounds tonight! So fuck you buddy! Till tomorrow at least!

Fuck me its 230 and i have to pick Mae up at noon. Jeez....oh well in 10 hours it will be cool. Too bad this friend of mine doesnt realize that ill be the one saving or destroying his new relationship! Ahhh but again im a good friend and ill do my best to make him happy!

Heres to alcohol...the stuff that fucks up what you want because you cant stop your addictive behaviors!

Second Friday that ive seen 1230 and gone sooo this is what 1230 looks like lol. Im broke! Seriously i had 2 dolla when i left the house this morning at 10ish.

Worked like 6 hours and brought home ten bucks in tips. Woo yay us! That meant we had 30 bucks in tips before we split them.

It was a rough day. Mae when we came home was just a handful. It was made more difficult by the fact that i was tired and was sore. BUT im the mama and thank god i only had to tough it out till 9 lol.

My mom and dad stayed in town tonight at a hotel and they invited me for drinks and treats after i dropped Mae off. It turned out to be a really great night with my parents. I have great parents. It helps that they still like to party a bit lol.

We had a drink at the hotel bar and some treats. Then we went and had food at Doughy Joeys. Seriously let me tell you, the food was good, but not as good as the bill. The drinks really killed the bill. BUT we had a good time and i got to spend time with my folks.

I have great parents! Hell they even loaned me 20 bucks for gas!!! OMG seriously?? I was telling my friends about it tonight and i looked at my friend and with all seriousness told him, i would ask him for money before my folks. He was shocked as shit. My parents do not lend me money. I do not ask them for money. They dont give it! I get it! So when my mom told my dad to give me 20 bucks for gas i was in shock! Greatful as hell because my car was a tick from in the red and the light coming on. Tuesday is payday and im sooo glad i took todays shift. It means ill have at least 20 bucks after babysitting and paying them back.

My friends are trips! I love them to death. As i mentioned i had 10 bucks from my tips, so after i left my mom n dad, i stopped for a drink with my friends. I told them, look im staying for one and then im going home. 2 out of 3 believed me. My one friend called a bit ago wanting to know where i was. I was like um im home, i went out with my folks and had a good time lol. He was like YOU BAILED!! Said it like ive never gone home early on a friday night. Um sometimes im responsible! LOL he was like ok i get it, but next friday lol. I was like yea next friday ill be out because i dont have to work till 5 lol. Gives me pleanty of time to sleep the alcohol off.

It was a good time. Though i will say this, im surprised that people talk to me lol. I dont hold anything back. If you tell me that your a booty call to someone, im not going to tell you that your not a booty call. Dont come to me if you dont want my honest opinion. This one girl was telling me something, that i dont think ive known her long enough to tell me stuff, and i was giving it straight. I went hold on, hey im heather and dont ask me stuff unless you want the blunt answer. She was like ive known you long enough thats why im asking you my friends are all sugar coating it. WTF? Why sugar coat with your friends? I want the truth from my friends because sometimes i make bad choices lol.

So tonight was a pretty great Friday night and i still have 3 episodes of TNG to watch!!

Heres to Friday nights where you know what 1230 looks like!

Ahhh the weekend is almost here. Tomorrow at 9 my faux weekend starts. Why do i say faux? Because i have to work at 11 on Saturday which means i miss friday out with the guys. Thats ok because i dont think my liver can keep up with them lol. Then i get off at 5 on Saturday and im pretty sure im going to be a bit tired.

Maybe after a big nap ill be able to find something to do. If not ill just zone out with a movie. I still have Obsessed to watch and i splurged a whole big whoppin 9 dollars on myself lol. Yea i bought myself a dvd with the best of STTNG. i love the borg episodes lol.

I need to not be so busy busy, but when everyone else works during the week and you work weekends, its interesting trying to figure out what to do.

Im going to do my best again this week to not pick Mae up until later. I just have to refuse the invitation for breakfast with grandpa lol. He likes Sunday breakfast out with Mae. BUT seriously lol i need a few hours alone lol.

Mae has been pretty good lately. Today she is working on my nerves. Its like she has several really good days in a row and then BAM shes back to the naughty child. Sighs i love my kid but man i need my time off just to recharge so i can get back in the swing of things.

I think tuesday we are going to start a new potty training situation. I dont think it will work, but my mom swears it will. We will see. Maybe by the end of the month she will be in big girl panties. Ugh who am i kidding im going to be changing the diapers of a 7 yr old.

Im really moody im assuming its some form of pms. I just feel all icky and edgy and just want to be nasty to people. Too bad there isnt anyone to be nasty to lol. I suppose if i really wanted to be a bitch i could accept psychos invitation and leave comments on her blogs. But i just dont have it in me to be creatively bitchy especially when its the same old tired subject.

Heres to moodiness...the natural state of the female.

There are two women who read my blog who have either lost a child or have a very sick child. I have a very healthy child. I feel guilty sometimes that i sit here and bitch about Mae.

It makes me feel like i should just be greatful that shes healthy and with me. I cant ever know how they and other mothers feel. I know its probably stupid, but sometimes i just think about that.

How it must be hard for people to read others blogs. How im greatful that during all my bitching, that all those mothers who have read my blog never said to me....just be glad you have her, just be glad shes healthy.

Im extremely greatful that i have Mae and she healthy. Im extremely tired from doing everything i can to be a good mom to her. Thank you ladies for the comments you have left about my mothering.

I think also that the month of August kind of brings out the pity party in me, like youve just been reading. Maybe its not even a pity party, but whatever it is its stupid. Katie was born in August and in August she wanted to live with my sister.

I have two very distinct memories of August. Extreme joy and Extreme pain. I want so much to write Katie a grown up letter. But shes not grown up enough. I know if i write that grown up letter i could lose that microscopic piece of her i still have.

I want to tell her how the biggest mistake was letting her go. The hardest thing is keeping her there and not fighting the battle to bring her home. How i hope, wish, fantasize that her motivation in calling my sister mom was to hurt me because she was hurting. How i never thought that id never have her.

And then i bitch about what Maes doing. I hope those that read know that its not bad with Mae. I just throw out the stuff to bitch so that i can open my eyes in the morning and go...Ooook its another day, lets see what happens.

And then i go back to thinking about other moms. I think about some of the moms that are blogged about and i wish those kids could write their moms the grown up letter. Knowing that they cant because they arent ready for it and it would just go right over that moms head and she would turn it against the step mom. Just my opinion.

Ive been thinking about moms alot. Im obsessed i think. There are a lot of moms i wonder about.

Maybe its not just what happened in August, maybe this is all just a hormonal girl thing. Whatever it is, its really strange. I know that i need a good cry, i just really dont feel like doing that. Ok so id rather read a book then watch one of the movies that make me bawl. I just cant let all that emotion out scripted. I think maybe if one of my movies was on tv and i flipped to it, id watch. Maybe im just lazy.

Things arent bad right now. Nothing is the matter, except i miss my katie. I wish my mom and others who think there are wrongs in the situation would all have like an intervention and say hey this sucks to my sister. Hell ive even made tentative plans to go out with John to the movies.

Life isnt bad, im just kind of meloncholy i guess. Now im just babbling, but it feels good to babble and just blab away. Im pretty sure the zig zag from one conversation to the next isnt fun to read. But hey, im kind of all over the place.

Heres to going to WalMart at 515 in the morning for hair dye and the best of Star Trek: The Next Generation.....yea im a freak like that lol.

Tv is so bad that im ashamed to admit im watching Megan Wants a Millionaire. OMG did these guys not watch the other trainwrecks she was on? Seriously you want to take home to mama a woman who wants to be a trophy wife, and has all but admitted to being a gold digger...oh wait i think she did.

Though to VH1s credit lol they did throw in this guy that as soon as i saw him i knew he was the token. OMG seriously, why would you put this guy on there just to have her crush him? I mean the dude has got to be 50 or so and shes like late 20s. He looks to be perfectly frank, like hes the guy your told dont take candy from.

Sigh...another trainwreck and ive been sucked in!

Well the weekend is about over. Everyone else is going to be starting their work week, me not till thursday. Its been a pretty good weekend. Any weekend thats hangover free is a good weekend to me lol.

Last night at work i thought about slicing the shit out of my finger. But my brain registered a second before disaster that disaster was iminent. I have all my fingers, yay me!

The real fun began about 11 oclock. My grandpas girlfriend scared the shit out of me. She hadnt seen my granpa all night, and i had just gotten home. I FREAKED OUT! I was like ill call ya back. I was in the process of getting the phone book when who walks in the door. Yup my grandpa. Ohhh i could have wringed his neck! So now we are contemplating gps or lojackin that mans car.

Its not the first time that its gone on like this and every time it happens its terrifying. But he wants, needs, craves his independence. So we deal.

The search for clothes continues. Maaan...my girl is 3 years old and a size 5 and size 6 pants at the store dont fit her. The 5 is to small in the waist and both are too long, the 6 is weird it gaps at the back and is snug at the front. I GIVE THE FUCK UP!! Since the asshole doesnt think its part of his responsibility to help with clothes, im going to have to do what my mom did with us. She paid my gramps back a little at a time, and ill be paying her back a little at a time. I dont know why this clothes shopping business has to be so tough! Also the sets that would have fit her, yea of course there isnt any left in her size. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

We did WalMart today, its kind of become a sunday thing and they have a Cost Cutters there. Well Mae got her way this time. I finally broke down and said ok. Everytime we go past CC she says I want my hair cut, and she does it everytime!! Today was the day. We cut her almost middle of the back hair up to her shoulders. My friend brigitte wasnt excited lol. Shes always on me to keep it long and its beautiful and blah blah. Should have heard her when i chopped all my hair off lol. But Mae wanted it, we had the money and the time. She looks cute, its not a big cut or anything. Just to her shoulders and she still looks cute. Now i can use the barrettes in her hair without them getting lost.

Now i know i promised psychos, but man i dont know. I mention them and they come crawling out. Lets visit and old psycho shall we! There are a few people who read this who know that i just couldnt stop myself from commenting on a certain fruitjudycakes blog. Her pattern was to let me comment and comment and comment, and have my fun , till her psycho little mind couldnt take it anymore. She would close her comments, and leave comments i couldnt reply to. All the while im like whatever lol your my free entertainment. Also the whole time wanting me to go away, not read, not this, not that...well what do i find in my email today? An invitation to be a friend of hers on her blog. WHY O WHY do you want my attention lol, its like the asshole, you claim you want nothing to do with me, for me to go away, for me to be a grown up, for me to whatever else they want lol but then you come and beg for my attention. I never had her on any messanger list or friends list or anything like that so the excuse of i used their search to find my friends doesnt wash. So of course i checked it out. OMG its the same bullshit just a different site. Seems though that shes taken a page from anothers book and stolen peoples pictures to add to it. Seriously, you know i have an addiction problem, why invite my trouble lol?

The other psycho highschool bullshit involves my brother. His wife is a piece of work. I knew there was a reason that i never tried to be friends with her. She has an excuse, ok so 3 years ago she did. Shes 20 years old and using the whole myspace to fuck with his head. Its so stupid, i mean i may have only grown up 10 minutes ago, but seriously, you have a kid to raise and you dont even watch that kid. Now you want to get divorced and have my brother, who were all pretty positive isnt the father, support you with child support. Um...no thanks. If it was his kid then yea hes totally obligated. But if its not, well then hit the bricks sista cuz your brand of bullshit isnt welcome.

Ahhhhh life is sweet! I had a real good weekend!