Welcome Back

It's now a full week since I hit the crazy train real hard. I've always been honest about wondering if i was bipolar. nobody would listen and so i kept living with the depression.

Well the last psych appointment ended up with me behind locked doors for 6 days. 6 days that so far have made a world of difference. However I do know that I can never go to jail because yesterday kind of sucked because i had to do things and go places when all i wanted to do was go home and get reacquainted with no restrictions lol.

This is the short version of the story because the long one has been told already. I got a change of meds at that psych apptmnet and it was a bad reaction. So i ended up in the psych unit but now so far the meds have made a difference.

i scared myself and people i love and all i can say to them is sorry and i have but i needed to be seen and have someone listen to me about whats going on....however the med search is killing me becase its 170 a month for my meds, i dont have them...but ill find a way to pay for them.

i wake up a little groggy but thats what coffee pots are for lol. but i feel better, still axious as hell but im feeling much better.

and i even had a  huge screaming meltdown that ended with this big guy being restrained after i yelled at him and then was all for him coming to beat me...that was my rage day and i obviously wasnt thinking clearly. then  i ended up with ice water n a cup thrown at me...i couldnt go off because they wouldnt get out of my way lol and i wasnt gettin restrained so i just seethed but calmly.

i cant go anywhere i tell ya lol but i did pet the fish! I know see even more proof of my new diagnosis lol.

All jokes aside I really do feel better. Today I started my day and did all my running before anyone was up lol.

now the mission is to keep the meds at a good level without having to be hospitalized again.