I had planned to rail against the asshole for once again not giving me the gas money that is needed to transport Mae. Then i did something i just refused to do before.

I watched an episode of 16 and pregnant. I have seen snippets of the show before and basically i just wanted to slap these girls and boys.

Some of the things that i heard in the snippets was just soooooo...soo! I had a baby at 18 and at that age i knew that a baby changes everything. I knew that my life was basically over.

Hell the one snippet that made me just cringe was when the pregnant girl was trying on like prom dresses and was like this baby is making things hard. WTF? What did you think it was going to be easy?

At 18 i was finishing high school and had my prom dress made for me because i was pregnant and they dont make maternity prom dresses. If they ever do start making them then we should probably think about sterilization for the population.

When i had the Bug it was the hardest thing i had ever done. Being her mom was even harder. It wasnt easy and when she decided she wanted to live somewhere else it was harder yet. The years since that choice have been hard. They have been fueled by anger, resentment, sadness, heartache, and grief.

I may not have given my child up for adoption, but it was close. Harder yet was the fact that i actually parented her for part of her life.

The episode i decided to watch tonight was the hardest thing to see. A mother and father giving their child what they knew they couldnt. Being unselfish enough to be able to let go of a child.

I knew a girl in high school who did that. It was hard for her. Though it was the right decision.

Ill admit while watching what i did of the show i thought they were going to break the adoptive parents hearts. Change their minds and take the child home.

Fortunatly they did the right thing. The right thing for everyone involved. This young girl and young man knew they had no way to give their child the life she deserved. Over and over thats what i heard. When the baby was born he was saying she's going to be loved and have everything.

All those tears and yes i shed my own. It was a very moving moment. At the very end the girl said she was at peace with her decision. I think she did the best thing she could. She talked about how her life wasnt the greatest, that her mom wasnt there for her and she knew what she had to do.

I still think the show isnt great. I do think its a good thing to show someone doing the hardest thing. I saw parts of other shows where you just know that poor child isnt going to have anything but hardship. I saw kids with kids and went damn even they know they arent ready.

It takes a very unselfish moment in a persons life to let their child go somewhere else. It takes a good look at yourself to see beyond yourself. I think that at some point there is regret on birth parents parts, but as long as the child has what you know you couldnt give, it makes it all worth it.

I hope those young people really are at peace. I really hope she does go to college like she wants. And she was very right when she said that when shes older maybe then she can have her own babies.

Heres to being a real parent....its harder then you know and it lasts more than 24 hours!