I have been pure lazy today! Lazy and a lil hung over. This was the first weekend Mae has been to her dads in a month and a half. I needed time off. I love my girl, but man my patience needs working on and most days i dont think im grown up enough for that lil girl.

Hopefully though her dad has learned that your actions have consequences...SO CONTROL YOURSELF! Ive heard a couple times how i dont know what its like to not have your kid, be able to see your kid, talk to your kid. Um soo not true. I know exactly how it is and feels. I also know that part of my reasons are my actions and i am still paying the consequences years later. I have in the time thats past learned the lesson really well. If i have to learn it and live with that lesson, then everyone else should too.

Mae was quite happy to be going to her daddy's and as bad as this sounds, i was probably a lot happier. Its been hard work with Mae. Everyday she picks up something new and every day i have to knock out whatever bad habit shes trying to get. I know parenthood, its a bitch, then you become one. But together we are working with each other.

Its been especially hard because after the first few nice weeks in may, the weather has been crap. we have been cooped up inside, looking outside at the pool and swingset. Mae needs to play outside lol run the snot out of her. Worn out kids are good kids, until they get to worn out and tired. The weather needs to change so we can get back outside.

Last night i went out and had myself a pretty decent time. Im working my way back to bed because i have a wedding that i have to go to. I just dont know what the hell John is expecting. A night to remember, and asking if im excited. What the hell, its your cousins wedding, and i dont really want to go. But trying to tell a guy that wont make them feel well. I know im going to make him unhappy when i drop the bomb that i think were better friends, but tonight isnt that night.

Last night had drinks with the guys. Maaan i missed having adult time. I missed having cocktails! I know i know, sad and pathetic. It was nice to be with adults and talking about adult things, partaking of adult things, being irresponsible adults lol. You know how it goes lol.

So thats about it i guess, i need to take a nap so i can go to this wedding. Brigitte is my excuse to duck out early. Her inlaws took their van and she doesnt want to get in and out of the truck since her surgery yesterday. So ill be driving and then when shes ready to go i have an out. God how sad am i, that im willing to let a nice guy go?