I'm sitting back at hospice and I'm supposed to be looking for funeral flowers. It's not something I really want to do. I've found the ones I like. I don't know why my mom wants me to look for them because she will just veto it anyways.

I got here this morning and found out that he gave them all a scare last night. He all but sat up in bed, his eyes opened and he did a real big gasp and shudder. They say they think he had a siezure. I'm glad I missed that. They are joking that my cousin Pete found religion. He was all but laying on Grandpa after he did that. My sister I guess told him later that it wasn't funny Grandpa.

God am I glad that I went home. I don't think I could have stood it to see that!

Thankfully though, my boss seems to be understanding. He says i should just plan on going to work for a couple of hours today so another girl can come in and work my shift. Because I told him if something happens and Im over at work, then I'm going to just leave and come across to be with my family.

Fuck me how much harder can this get? Ok I know but I dont want to think about it. My mom though is now hanging with me in the anger department. She is angry that he has to go through this. Welcome to my world! I've been angry so angry. Just ask the kids dad how angry I am lol

Back to the flowers!