It looks good! They should have grandpa FINALLY sitting up. He has been on his back since about 9 this morning.

Right now they are watching the wounds because they were swelling but they don't hear any bleeding. He ate before we left and was loopy from the percocet tha Katie and I decided he should have. We're happy with it because they have to push on those wound sites for upwards of 20 minutes at a time when they do it. And he wasn't feeling any pain. Yay narcotics!

This morning was really rough for me. I was breaking down on the phone, I was very unsure of any decison I made. I even did a prayer blog here, but blogger decided it had to go down just as I pushed publish. My prayer was a real and honest prayer. I believe that the prayers that are answered are the honest ones. I was real and honest about how my prayers were for my own selfish reasons and said some stuff. And I cried as I did it. It's nice to be able to breathe.

My sister and the family made it to moms house about 330 this morning and then were up to the hospital a bit before 9. Mom called me to see what we were doing this morning and I was a wreck and asking her what she thought about Mae coming up to the hospital instead of going to school. I just didn't want to have her in school and not with her grandpa if it was going to be the last time she saw him. I would have felt awful guilt for a long time.

Through my tears and trying to get myself back to the strong one I decided that Mae was coming to the hospital. I'm glad that she did because she got to sit with grandpa in bed before he went to his surgery. He should now be sitting up. He's been on his back since about 9 am and they said he could sit up at 10pm.

Mom called while we were up there and then the nurse said to us that they were coming to get him in a minute. Mom was told that the procedure would be about 10am and they were just getting to the hospital, literally like pulling in. I called mom back and she freaked out and was calling my sister. In the time it took for us to hang up the phone the lady was there to take grandpa. I freaked out! Mom wasn't there. Noone was there but us!! This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. We were supposed to take a picture of grandpa with baby Myah!! I called mom and she freaked out. She didn't know where to go, what to do, how to breathe!

I told her to take the B elevator to the floor and take the long walk and ask them to escort her. Grandpa, Mae and I walked down. As I'm trying to not feaking lose it all over again and in front of grandpa. I told the lady hey go slow and look in every waiting room for them. She understood. Now it's a long walk from his old room to the unit that we needed to be on. I told her I'm sooo going to get yelled at, my mom is going to yell at me. Now we all know I have no control over anything but I know my mom and she would have found a way to make it mine.

THANK YOU LORD JESUS! As we walked down the hall the last double doors I saw my mom. I pretty much screamed there's mom!! I'm not getting yelled at!

We got through the doors and mom was on grandpa. Then there was Brianne and bad mom that I am, pulled Katie right up. I'm sorry, but I know what it is like to lose a beloved grandparent. I lost my grandma when I was real young, I know! Then the other kids came up and they got baby Myah out and on grandpa. I got the picture mom wanted and then one of the group. Except I wasn't in it, mom pointed that one out and was sorry. It was ok, I'm the picture taker...I'm not in a lot of pictures but I was there.

We had like 15 or so people in this itty bitty family waiting room. Everyone has come up to see him except one brother who doesn't live in state, and a brother from out of town who doesn't drive or something. But that's not unusual. We said a family prayer and mom and Brianne cried. Hell my mom even talked to my cousin Mary Ellen and she hasn't talked to her in YEARS! Been in the same room, and same conversation...but has not talked to her.

My nephew Logan gets car sick and was throwing up. The girls were loud as hell. Katie sat semi queitly, the rest of us talked. My sister ended being sick from both ends because of all the caffine and energy drinks on the way up. I won't apologize for the bullshit I'm about to spew!

My mom can get a hotel room for 50 bucks. My sister decided to drive the hour back to my moms house with the kids because she was sick. I looked at her and was like why don't you get a room today, go get better, and COME BACK AND SEE YOUR GRANDPA WHO JUST GOT OUT OF FREAKING SURGERY, WHO YOU CAME UP HERE TO SEE FOR MORE THAN 20 FUCKING MINUTES!!!! Noo she wasn't going to do that, they might do it tomorrow if they keep grandpa. EXCUSE ME!! I have been up here with grandpa for a week! I have been doing all this with moms help. I have been stressed out, depressed, and just plain fucked up in the head for a week. You are here for an hour and have to leave and only see your grandpa that long?? Oh fuck that bullshit! If it was me, I'd have had that hotel room and slept til I felt better and been back at the hospital to see him. Guess since he is going to mom's house that that is the best time to see him. Ok maybe it is, but I disagree. AND THEN I became the biggest selfish bitch I could be!

First I said to Katie (this isn't the selfish part) that I hadn't gone and gotten our rings and maybe we could go get them while people visit. I asked my sister if we could, because you know im going to run off and do something bad to katie, and she was ok with that. *selfish part now* Then when the going home with the kids came up, I jumped the fuck up and was all...Hey Katie can stay up here with us if she wants. I will take any opportunity I can find to be with Katie without everybody else. OMG they said yes. So as I type this my girl is in the next room working on sleep.

The bestest bestest part of Katie being here! She is grounded from her cell for 2 weeks. Brianne doesn't like her being away without the phone blah blah blah. Bitch doesn't want to be able to not ask her what we're doing and is she ok, is everything ok, blah blah blah. I'm so nice. I told her hey um hello I have a cell phone. You have the number, you can call the number, I can hand the phone to Katie. Whatever I HAVE MY KATIE FOR THE NIGHT!

We went for lunch, picked up my check, she went for a carousel ride with Mae, and we got our rings. And a laugh at poor Mae who was not having any of the Easter Bunny lol. We went back to the hospital for about 3 hours and got grandpa all changed and percoceted out lol.

They gave him the percocet for the pain when they pulled the line out of his groin area. After they gave him that he was having some funny visions. The holes in the ceiling were either dancing or bugs moving around. It was funny. Poor grandpa but he didn't have pain when pushing on the sites.

Ok so I just lost my train of thought and I've noticed I'm begining to ramble, badly. So I'm going to end this with...Grandpa is doing ok, they are looking at the swelling in the sites, and right now we don't know if he is coming home tomorrow or thursday.

All is right in my world tonight, and I'm loving it!