Day 3 of the hospital stay is where we're at. I had to go back and reread what I had written because Dawn commented and well I was a bit confused lol. Now I'm all caught up and ready to catch everyone else up.

Sooooooooo basically the pneumonia hasn't actually totally been 100% seen. But they think that's what the chills and fever were.

Chest pains, Chest pains with headache those were the other complaints. So yea...Grandpa did have a heart attack. But it wasn't one of the ones that kill you. It's so tiny that any of us could have one at any time and go about our business.

Problem...aneursm(sp) that has grown. Problem it's not the nicer variety. It's the sakkulent(sp) variety that can burst/rupture at anytime and your dead. Greaaaaaaaaat!

There is a surgery for that! Woohoo...oh wait...grandpa has kidney failure. This means more testing. This means more mucomist(sp) to help the kidneys.

Oh yea did i mention its either angiogram or angioplasty...im freaking stupid at this point. That means grandpa is in the hospital til probably at least tuesday.

They want to make sure his heart is ok, and if it is, and the other doc thinks he needs surgery for the anuresym(sp) yea.

SO bascially im running on empty, im trying not to kill innocent bystanders from the clock tower, Im handling my mother, spending all my time with gramps(not complaining btw, not yet anyways), and then we take a break for an hour today and this:

My daughter who is such a pita, so mouthy, and just plain evil sometimes...who is also the sweetest nicest most wonderful brat a mom could have....bursts out crying. Sobbing and crying and wailing. Im like whats wrong why are you crying wtf!!!!

She turns to me and tells me I'm worried about grandpa! OMG that was it. Hugging her, holding her, rubbing her back and bawling myself. Trying to reassure this little almost 4 yr old girl that her gramps is going to be ok. This is after that terror of a girl spent all day in bed with her grandpa. Who after we went back and had supper with him and was again laying in bed with him told the nurse in her most no nonsense voice..Dont you hurt my grandpa!

Im so lost and drained and just blah! So instead of having pneumonia to get over. We now have heart issues that we have to deal with. Yesterday the Dr said that now was the time to go look where as before since hes so old they didnt want to unless they had to.

I love my gramps and I dont want to be strong anymore. I want to be 4 yrs old and have my mommy tell me its going to be ok, whether its truth or lie! I want my moment to breakdown. Thank god for my friends! They have listened to me ramble and just be all WAAAAAA out of my head.

I don't know...i know i should probably blog better about this because Ive been there for everything, but i just cant bring myself to type it all out. I just want to have a lil downtime thats not hospital related. But its not the worst of news and its not the best of news....Im still praying!