I have a boyfriend who freely admits he comes with a damaged goods label. Ok well so do I. But to have him speak so openly is a good thing.  It means we're communicating.

I'm very glad that we can talk. With all the time we're spending in the car job hunting we get to talk. Sometimes it's funny and light hearted. Sometimes it's dead serious.  Our honeymoon period is seriously jacked up.

Tomorrow will be a serious one depending on how the interview goes. Totally not cool to add shit to what could be a shit mood. If that's the case I'll just wait. Only because it's the money talk.

Yes he's been great about making sure everyone is taken care of but I have to be able to understand his money system. That way I can figure out how to work with the money so bills get paid.

I don't mind doing the money but for fucks sake we just had 2 major financial burdens hit at one time. And I have to remind myself this is my boyfriend and not a husband. 

See I still have most of my wits about me even if I'm falling faster and faster.  There's just something about a man who wants you next to him. Who doesn't want to let go when you're cuddling on the couch. Who puts his hand on your thigh while driving. 

I think I'm moving from last to love. So until I get all the way there I won't be initiating the I love you at the end of a call or dropping off.  It will do us good.

So I also 5 days in wrote him a letter. You know the high schooly letters you passed in the hall. Tonight I wrote him a big one and folded it like high school lol. After I give it to him I'll ask what he thinks and if he likes them I'll write if not I'll just blog lol.

I like him I really do. I hope our demons can play nice and that our crazy matches. I'm ready to be sharing a house on a full time basis. I don't know how this will go. But from what he's shared he's a long term kind of guy so I can work with that. Plus I hate him as much as I hate my loves lol so that's good.

Donut shift in the morning so it's time to let the meds do their job and put me out.

Much love