Today is the 8th month since I've lost my Grandpa. And as my Uncle pointed out it is the first Sunday since we lost him. I didn't want to go to church today. I wanted to stay home and be all sad and mopey and whiney.

I got over myself and got up and got ready for us to go to Church. We were running a few minutes late, but that's ok because we usually get to church about 20 to 30 minutes before service starts lol.

Well I started our morning out as normal; and decided it wasn't a sin to medicate before church because well the xanex hadn't kicked in yet and I needed a crutch lol.

Anyways I get us all ready and then realize its freaking cold outside. I should have started the car up and let it warm up. Instead I drove with my hands freezing and Mae wearing my gloves because IT WAS FREAKING COLD OUTSIDE!

Anyways before we went to church I had a little talk with my wonderful(notice today shes wonderful lol) daughter. I am trying to figure out ways to get her to figure out church. Isuck at it but I'm trying. The first thing I've tried to teach her is what you do with the holy water and making the sign of the cross. She has that one almost down! Then while I was talking to her I had her recite the Lords Prayer with me and told her we would be saying that at church later. I also told her that it's been 8 months since we lost Grandpa and I was very sad and that she should be a very very good girl in church today.

Miracles never cease with that girl. She was again better behaved. Though I have to remind her next week that she needs to try to sit a bit quieter because her Aunt and Aunt's Friend are trying to listen too.

BUT the strangest/happiest/saddest/definitly pushed the tears over the edge during church today happened. After I got us settled into the pew I happened to look down and the guy sitting next to me had on Grandpa's shoes.

I'll post a picture someday of the shoes so you have an idea what I'm talking about...kinda like wingtips i think. But anyways I looked down and there was this set of shoes that looked,other than color, just like his shoes.

I looked over at the man and he reminded me so much of Grandpa. Same color hair, looking like it needed a cut, same skin color and about the same size. It floored me. I kept staring at this poor man out of the corner of my eyes the whole time. I wanted to make sure that it wasn't just my mind making me see things. I told my Aunt after church and she said all except the glass the guy was wearing and that she had a similar experience once after her husband passed at church.

Something new to me at church is holding hands before the giving the sign of peace. Today I held that man's hand, and my Aunt's hand and I cried while doing our recitation.

One of the benefits of losing over 20lbs is that it is seriously way easier to kneel now. I actually fit lol. I knelt and prayed for those that needed it, i prayed for my family, and i prayed a little for myself, and then I talked to Grandpa. Told him thank you for sending someone today of all days and that while i still felt like crap, that part made me cry and I was at peace for a moment.

Making it even funnier this man left the same time Grandpa used to leave lol. Right after communion.

I texted in church my mom, uncle and sister. Yea i know but church hadnt started yet. I got my texts after church and my Uncle had sent one and said to say a prayer. Trust me, I prayed and prayed.

So today instead of doing what I'm supposed to do; I'm going to let it fall where it may. What gets done gets done, what doesn't...well there is always tomorrow!