So basically I have accepted God back into my life. I don't know how long He's going to hang out or I'm going to let him hang out; but for the moment God and I are on good terms. Or at least I'm on good terms with God. Either way it's all good.

So all good that I've lost the awww crap it's Saturday night which means I have to get up and go to church in the morning feeling. I don't mind getting up to spend an hour in church and with my great aunt. It's good for me and it's good for Mae and it's good for my cousins who don't have to get up to take there Mom to church in the morning. It's win win for everyone.

For awhile, even before my Grandpa died, I've been concerned about Mae and God. I may not be the "ideal" Catholic; I may also believe a lot of other things from other religions and walks of life; I am what God created lol but at then end of the day when it's all said and done I am a Catholic. Mae isn't baptized;Katie is. I don't remember all the little details about that time, but I know I had Katie baptized because that's what you're supposed to do, in my world, is get your kids baptized. I feel very strongly about this. I feel strongly that Mae needs to be baptized.

Problem is that I don't know anyone really who I would want for her godparents that are Catholic and have gone through all the stuff. I know one person but I'm not close enough to ask that of her. Though if it comes down to it I'll bite the bullet and ask this huge favor.

Along with this need to have her baptized is the need to have her go to Catholic school. I want, need this; and I really don't know why. Besides the fact that Grandpa would have liked it, I just know and feel strongly that Mae needs to get to her first communion. Today at church she said she wanted to walk down the aisle with the cross. The Deacon/Priest (I'm not sure which one he is) told her that she had to get to like 4th grade before she could do that. Hell I only wanted to get her to 2nd grade and her first communion lol. If Mae wants to do that well then I guess she will go for longer, if I can get her in. I have to get a better job so we can afford this.Her preschool teacher says the smaller class size would be good for her.

I am a very proud Mama! My 4 almost 5 year old little girl can say an Our Father almost perfectly! Today she even said it in church. My GAunt told me she heard her saying it. I was so proud! We have only been doing it for a week and a half maybe and she has it almost all the way down. She can't say thy for some reason lol so it's my lol but she is so cute saying it. I can just imagine how big the smile would have been and how proud my Grandpa would have been of her. That is my true regret that my Grandpa didn't get to see this because I didn't go to church with him. I should have and I didn't and I will regret it always. BUT when I did offer to go with him he always said no because of Mae lol so at least there were times that I offered to go. I get credit for trying Right?!?!?! LOL

I told my GAunt in the car this morning that she could do that and she asked me about a Hail Mary. OMG! I hadn't even thought about teaching her that one lol. Hell lol I had to say it out loud in the car with my GAunt to make sure I knew it/remembered it lol. She said it along with me and I did it...go me lol. So now we have another goal for Mae and that's to learn a Hail Mary.

Today at church I thanked God for being with me and for what He has helped me get through. Without this refound/renewed/reorganized faith that I've gotten since my Grandpa died I don't think that I would be as ok as I am now. I know that I have lots of issues with the Catholic religion but I believe that if God made us in His own image then He is the only one who can tell me I'm living my life wrong. And obviously I'm not living it to badly to be where I am at. Yes I have things to work on in my life. But I know I have it in me to do it. I am not one of those who will never be found. I've strayed off course but I'm still on the path enough that I'll more than squeek by when it comes time to add it all up.

Happy Sunday have a great week from the crazy churchy girl lol