Well hell was only frozen for a minute. It's all unthawed and jumping all over me again. WTF is it with the house being cleaned that my mother feels she has to jump me over, nag me over, and in general just be a pain in my ass?

I asked her if since they did all this stuff to the house if she's seen it dirty. Her answer No. Well wtf doesnt that mean then that someone is cleaning it? Does she think theres a house fairy that comes by , or the 4 yr old does it? No it's me. I have friends who back me up when talking to her about it that IM ALWAYS FUCKING CLEANING SOMETHING! PLUS all the goddamned yard work.

But today just really burns me! She asked if I cleaned house. Fuck me for being honest. I didn't clean house. I'm off work tomorrow and was going to take my aggression and sadness out on the house tomorrow instead of wallowing in self pity and alcohol.

Ok I lied, I did do some cleaning. I changed and took out the garbage, I put a new bag into the soda can garbage, I cleaned off the table, I did the dishes, and I put the dirty clothes in the hamper. What I did not do however was clean the toilet. I was going to do it tomorrow. BUT my mother in all her clean freak wisdom chose to get on me about the toilet being dirty and how I'm not cleaning it. Um fuck you I clean it once a week. Sorry that I cleaned it early in the week this week and YOU THINK IT'S FUCKING DIRTY!

I asked her if you thought it wasn't clean enough for you, then why didn't you clean it? Seriously she was here Friday and part of Saturday. If it was really that horrible and that bad, and that unacceptable...WHY DIDN'T YOU CLEAN IT! The answer I got...because it's your job!

WTF?? So your telling me that even though you will be staying here, using the shower, shitting in the toilet you are not going to do any work? Oooo my bad she cleaned up after the party we had while I was at work ONE TIME! You expect me to wait on you, my dad, and clean the house, do the yardwork and you get to talk to me like I'm 12 and forgot to do my chores?? AND I asked her if the house has been dirty when she's been here(which is at least once a week) and the answer is No.

So why the hell do you have to nag and get on me over the toilet especially when you have no intention of helping out. Oh and then tell me under the sink are extra things to clean it. HELLTHEFUCKOO...I know they are there and yes I know to use them. How do i know they're there? Because I PUT THEM THERE, I USE THE THINGS UNDER THERE!!

I just don't get why all my hard work and effort; on a daily basis, isn't seen. I don't know why she can't just back the fuck off. And then wonder why I want off the phone and don't want to talk to anyone now.

Give me a break....you want me out of your house that fucking bad, out of your life. It's a good way to go by pushing me and pushing me on something I already do. God I wish she would just lighten the fuck up because seriously I feel like I'm going insane and I know I can never live up to her expectations on any level.

Fuck my life.