While I was writing my last blog, all of what ten minutes ago lol; I had a thought. It was a thought that I found rather disturbing.

Now that I have seen my mom, hugged my mom, talked to my mom, interacted with my mom after like almost 20 days and only 12 words in those 20 days. After we would talk on the phone minimum three times a day almost daily. That was a long time to have no interaction with my mom.

I can have interaction with my mom. Just not a lot. Well as I was typing the last blog I thought, oh hell! My mom is going to think that now she can call me all the time again and stuff. Oooo I didn't like that idea. I really enjoyed not feeling all stressed out and whatever else I might end up feeling after talking to her.

I was sitting here and my phone rang. It was my mom. I ignored the call. I don't want to talk right now. Not that I'm mad at her, I just don't want to talk right now. I can call her back. Hell I can call her back on my way to work. But right at this moment I dont want to talk to her.

Then I go and read one of the other blogs I read and the issue on that blog was about a daughter and mother who cant go a minute without seeing each other. Oooo man I kind of left a long comment. I hope she understands my comment. But I get the insane need to be in contact. I dont know how it happens, it just does. And to everyone else it looks totally insane and maybe it is, but thats just how it is.

After not having any contact with my mom lately ive felt better than i was feeling. I know i have to start taking her calls, but i dont have to take all of her calls, and I can choose when. Its ok to not talk to my mom ALL the time.

It's a sickness I think and you just have to wait it out to figure it out to work it out to get to a place where its ok.