Today I made the call of shame. It's the biggest call of shame I could make and I made it. I stood in Kmart today and all but cried because I knew I would have to make that call.

Today of all days I guess it was very appropriate that I had to make the call of shame. 7 months ago today I lost my Grandpa. So today is one of those days that I am already wired. Then I had plans to go Christmas shopping because that was the plan.

Today didn't start off the way I wanted it to. I put my book on the kitchen table last night thinking Mae would leave it alone and the card I was using for the bookmark. WRONG because I moved it, I'm assuming, it was an easier target and my card is gone. It was a prayer card and it was just one that moved me and now I have no idea where it is and Mae isn't giving it up. I'm sure I'll find it another day. BUT I didn't scream at Mae or spank her or anything except tell her how disappointed I was and sad because that card meant something to me.

My car is having issues. It always seems to have issues at this time when there is no money because of Christmas. Well I called my brother and when he called me back I was shopping. Yes I know I shouldn't be spending money if I've got car trouble. BUT I did it anyway. Still no pictures of Santa and Mae but Christmas shopping is all done. So my brother is close to Kmart and stops out to look at the car.

My cousin Tanya the other day, over the phone, tells me its the water pump. But who wants to belive that lol. He comes out and looks at it and he's pretty positive it's the waterpump. He makes a call and they say $140. I don't have that; the only way I have that is if I don't buy Christmas and I don't pay my bills for a month. Ummmm....I have to pay my bills. The late fees on not paying my bills is not a good thing. Especially when one of them is car insurance and that would mean no insurance which you have to have.

So I agonized and angonized and tried not to cry. Then after a text from my sister telling me Dad was home, I made the call of shame!

I called my Dad and asked to borrow money to fix my car. It was one of the worst things I've ever had to do. I have never EVER asked them for money. I always paid Grandpa back with taxes or over time because he didn't judge. So like my dad said time to put on my ass kissing pants, because there is more news.

He may be getting a job here in town and that means him and my mom will be moving in sooner rather than later!

It has been one big day and I am ready for it to be over. I made the decision last night we are having pizza for supper and I am choosing to not be upset over the missing card. And I'm glad I chose that because I gave Mae her new outfit, her two new Christmas socks, and her countdown to Christmas chocolate calendar and she thinks they are all WONDERFUL!

So I'm going with Wonderful!