The trip through hell continues. Yesterday my mom tried to suggest that I do two nights in a row with grandpa. Yesterday I did a 4 hour drive to pick up and bring back my Uncle from the airport. My grandpa has problems at night right now and is a lot of work.

I don't mean a lot of work as in I'm bitching. But two nights in a row with grandpa right now isn't a good thing, for me at least. He changes at night. It's like an alzheimers patient. We do good(ish) during the day and then at night the fun begins.

His hands go, legs go, gets combative, angry, mean, funny, loving, storyteller, all these things. It's a mental and physical struggle with him. It's not his fault, I'm not angry with him, I won't not take care of him. I'd just prefer to not do 2 nights in a row because I've found out if I don't recharge then I creep toward the edge, and the edge sucks lol.

Last night I had to explain to him the concept of the foley, fun! Mom left instructions for no haldol unless she approved it. I CALLED MY MOTHER!! I've spent a lot of time with Grandpa since he's been in the hospital. I've been through almost as much, if not as much as my mom has with this. I have watched his behavior. At night around 10 we start to lose him. Like literally it seems like we start to lose him.

The last few nights he's had a fever start. Then we give him haldol to help him rest and relax from the restless leg syndrome and whatever is going on with the night thing, and his breathing gets worse. He will wave his hands and fight to get out of bed if not medicated. Thank you mom for saying yes when we called!

He doesn't sleep much. Or if he does it's not good sleep. It's like he is fighting sleep and I don't know why. Luckily there is enough of my Grandpa in there that you can make the best of the situation...if your not doing your best not to break his arm from having to hold him.

Mom called me a little bit ago, which is why I'm blogging, to tell me my Uncle had called her to tell her that it had started. It started earlier tonight. He has a fever and took the tylenol. Now though he is refusing to take anything else. They are going to give him the shot of haldol. I'm glad that our night was fairly easy after he was given it last night and didn't fight us on it.

I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea about anything really. I wish I could get the answer but I know there are only two possible outcomes.

It will be what it will be and like I told my mom tonight. I am going to spend this time with grandpa and just love him. That all I can do is be there and love him because it's what ive got.