I don't have a lot to say though Im pretty sure I do have a whole lot to say I just cant get it out of my fingers. so today im going to be a complete lazy slob who's gained a whole ton of weight back and do nothing.

i need to get back to work and be around the real people. talking to the voices i hear sometimes doesnt seem like that good of an idea. but what do i know. Oh yeah i took every psych and therapist apptmnt i could this week. I was told good job and petted on the  head.

i made my mom cry twice because of me this week, wasnt intentional. i  just dont think she gets the whole bi polar thing and that some little corner of her brain still thinks im just fucking around. dear god i wish i was fucking around. i wake up two ways...good mood or pit of rage in my stomach. i prefer good mood. but for those days that i feel rage ill have fmla to get out of work. thank goodness cuz i cant fake it for 8 hours lol.

everything is good im just bored to death and i dont want to hang out with my friends, just wanna be a blob in a blog lol