My mom has always been like this Brenda, just not to the extreme she is now. Yes I know she is grieving, but damn it, pick a better target, pick a different target.

I had my appointment this morning and was so upset and spilled so much that before the time was even up, she had me in with the prescribing doctor.

So now I have prescriptions for prozac and xanex. Im supposed to take 3 xanex a day for the anxiety and the prozac for depression once a day. I'm hoping they help.

How bad is it that you have two grown daughters; they are both in therapy, and both of their therapists tell them they need to limit their contact with their mother? That the only way for us to get better is to limit contact?

Its crazy to me, but what else is there?

The doctor told me today that if I was abusive then I wouldn't be worried about it. That I would be blaming everything on someone else, I wouldn't feel all upset, and I would just go on. I guess that makes me feel better, but then I talk to my sister.

She tells me that mom says she never said that. Again how very convienent that my mom says she didnt say it so it must be true. First thing my mom asked her was how big a bitch I told her she was. I didn't tell my sister that, I told her that I told mom she was being a mean bitch. My mom is never going to change, and she will never accept the change within me. So I need to limit the contact I have with her.

My sister says she will try to be there, but she has a life. I just think that sometimes I cant be the only one trying.

I have to get through the holidays and get through the grief, but i don't have to feel like I do. The therapist said I was right in the leaving that I do, the not talking about something I dont want to. That yes of course I have issues, but I can't take on someone else's issues.

So the cycle of medication begins, I really hope it works because I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to do blogs about how I just want to not wake up. i want me back, or at least the best me I can be since I dont have that one man in my life who made it all ok. Thanks Brenda, I know what you mean about losing that one person. It sucks ass on so many levels that we shouldnt have to be dragged through someone elses'