It's sunday again! That means church in just a little bit. Some weeks church is my saving grace. I get to go and pray for those that need it, try to pray for me, and spend an hour with my Great Aunt.

Last weekend we didn't go because I just couldn't get my ass motivated. Funny thing though, Mae woke up and was like it's time to go to church with Aunt Berta. Ahhh the power of church and hanging with the Great Aunt.

Last week somewhere, some how I lost 10 pounds. What the hell is that all about? Well since I have a great start on losing some weight, maybe someone is trying to help me out, I will have to get out Miss Leslie and let her whup mine and Mae's butt. That's the nice thing about working out at home, when I do it, Mae likes to do it with me. So it's a double good deal. Though Leslie kicks my butt til I want to cry lol.

Remember my post about the girl who tried to friend request me? Well I asked my friend what the hell that was about. Guess what? No, he didn't ask her or the other girl to do it. Guess what, yet another blog about how she was the victim....but the story had changed YET AGAIN. So now I've read and heard three different accounts of what "actually" happened. Yeah, when you lie it's hard to keep them straight. He asked her why she did it and Ooops she thought I was someone different. HELLOOO same picture that's always been up on that site. I called bullshit, he called bullshit and then if you don't like us don't read us. Well if you invite me to your site, if you try to get my attention; you don't get to bitch about it when you get what you want. Suffice it to say, I'll be hanging with my friend and I don't have to hang with her.

Yesterday was pretty nice. We went and spent some time with my friends and just chilled while the kids played downstairs. It's nice having friends. Especially friends who live right around the corner from you and you don't have to travel to see them. Plus taking chocolate cake along helps out too lol.

Xanex is my new best friend! It works a lot better than the ativan that I was on before. It seems to take effect quicker, and it seems to help the anxiety MUCH better. It's hard for me to get prescriptions from doctors. I don't know why that is. If I'm in severe pain I get told tylenol. If I'm in moderate pain, tylenol. After surgery, tylenol. It's like I went to the doctors and always tried to get pain meds or anxiety meds. I have never been one of those drug seekers so I don't know what the deal is. BUT I know have the xanex and when I feel the anxiety start I get out a quarter of a pill and pop it. Not long after I'm feeling better. The tightness in my chest is gone, I feel like I can breathe easier.

The doctor wants me to take 3 pills a day. There is absolutly no way I can take 3 pills a day. For whatever reason a whole pill will knock me out. A half a pill I can function for a little bit then I'm ready to snooze. But a quarter of a pill does the job. I know people that take them recreationally but jeez I don't know how. Do I want to know how? Not really. I've taken them before, semi-recreationially, but at bedtime for sleep.

My car tried to die on me! I have a coolant leak somewhere so I will have to keep an eye out on that. My dad and Katie came to town yesterday to go see his mom and Mae and I tagged along.

We went to WalMart because Dad wanted some of these storage containers. He was going to get me a set for Christmas, BUT I found something even better that was NEEDED.

Child support only goes so far in paying the bills, getting food, getting gas, and entertaining Mae. Some how this month, even with the holiday, I got child support on time. Well there went the phone bill and I was going to buy Mae this $14 coat they had. Well thank you Black Friday! I found a coat that was originally, and the day after, $35 dollars. It's a real nice coat with a zip out liner so you can wear the inside during the spring. Well after paying for antifreeze and the coat, I had a choice to make with the money. But Mae the $15 dollar snow pants, or put food in the house. Seriously, it shouldn't be a hard choice to make, but if you have kids you know it is.

My dad and Katie walked up as I was trying to coat on her and I asked my dad, Hey for Christmas can you get Mae a pair of these snow pants. They go outside at school in the winter lol she needs snow pants. He asked how much they were and said yes! Oooo thank you to my daddy!

After we went to see his mom, he had to stop at the bank. Ahhh the bank that is right next door to the Fareway! He dropped me off and I got the last $30 I had in groceries. Funny he saw the pizzas, that were on sale btw lol, and I was like look we have 3 lunches to get through til I have those all important food stamps lol. I think he forgot to look at all the white packages I had too lol. Bought stuff for spaghetti, meatloaf, and beef stew, ooo yea and the yummy yummy roast I had cooking at home.

It was a pretty good week, if you minus the freaking panic attack that sent me screaming into see the psych doctors. I don't feel bad about going to see them. I have a lot on my plate and I have a lot of stress that I just can't deal with on my own. I'd rather go see someone then sit here at home, like some people do, and ignore the fact that while I'm ok, I could be better.

Well it's off to church we go. Have a good sunday everyone!