I am not a bad mother. I know this inside I really do. But every day I'm being hurt by Mae.
For some reason she doesn't like me, she hates me, she doesn't want me, she wants a new family, a new mom, and it's really begining to hurt.
I know I shouldn't let a 4 yr old hurt me, but seriously EVERY DAY I hear those things from her mouth.
If I was an abusive parent I could understand why she says these things. BUT I am NOT!
I love her more than life itself. I do everything I can for her. I give her everything I can and even strive for what I can't. Hell I don't even make food that she won't eat. Though god knows I'd love to make say liver and onions, but I don't because I know she won't like it.
I don't know what the problem is but I'm ready for it to stop. If she was a teenager I would say this is completly normal. But what 4 yr old doesn't want their mom? What 4 yr old tells their mom they hate them?
I don't know how to make it not hurt and I don't know how to make her stop. Every time she says this I tell her how she shouldn't say it because its disrespectful, hurtful, and hateful. Again how do you reason with a 4 yr old?
I don't know, I just know that it sucks being me some days and I don't know what to do in this situation except do what I always do. Love her. Hug her. Squeeze her. Tell her I love her. And do my best not to show how much it really does hurt to have a child you love and care for tell you they hate you and that you're not her mommy.
Well it looks like karma has me again this time. I am a worthless parent and my child is the first indicator of how horrible a parent I really am! Thank you karma for showing me what everyone else seems to already have figured out!
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First things first, you are not a bad mother. I know it sucks when your child says they hate you. But to a 4 year old, "I hate you" is the worst think anyone could say.
ReplyDeleteI would say she is just going through that testing her boundaries phase and when those boundaries bump against something she wants to do or a way she wants to behave, she lashes out and says what a 4 y/o thinks is the meanest thing ever.
Don't let it get you down because chances are it will happen again when she's a teenager. You do need to let her know that it hurts your feelings and it's not appropriate to say those kinds of things. Eventually, it will run it's course.
Hang in there, they do grow up and have kids of their own & then come to you saying, "Mom, I wasn't this bad was I?"
You are not a bad mother!! I agree with Dawn. She's heard it said by someone and to her that's the ultimate thing to get back at you. Some kids go through that phase, when they are told to do something or they don't get their way. I had to hear it from Jeffreys' boy the first couple of years, but he's grown out of it now.
ReplyDeleteI know trying to reason with a 4 yr old is difficult at best, but each time she does say it, maybe sit her down and tell her how mean and hurtful that is, that maybe she should say "I don't like you right now" because she's mad, but never say you hate someone.
Hang in there! Just like everything else with kids.. "this too shall pass"
hugssss