Not even close

I am not even close to being packed up. Hell as it is Thursday afternoon will be the last at home online I get for awhile. Unless of course I can figure out how to swing 20 bucks a month and go with the phone company's high speed net. But right now I'm afraid to go that route because I don't know exactly how much a change this is going to be in the money. Hell as it is lol all we are going to have is a dvd player for tv. I am not spending money on a converter box and dealing with all those issues. We can just live without tv for a little while. It definitly won't kill us.

I havn't even picked out my paint yet. I do have a new red garbage can...though no bags for it yet lol. I am all kinds of unorganized and not ready for this move lol. So basically tomorrow I need to make a big huge mess in the living room with all the laundry. Then make an even bigger mess out of mine and Mae's rooms just to get rid of stuff and to get ready to go.

Lucky for us we really don't have a lot of stuff. We have clothes, beds, a computer desk, computer and tv, and of course dishes. But really we don't have much of anything. It will be a pretty easy move. The hardest part will be painting the walls. I'm thinking that if we move all my shit over Saturday then we will be there Saturday lol even if it's not finished lol.

I'm not ready for this. I mean I am but it brings up so many emotions. Then the whole division of Grandpa's stuff. Yes i know it's not my stuff...but damn it lol it's my stuff. We are all psycho over that man lol, life or death he still gets to all of us. He was loved!

Work is going good. So good in fact that at least 2 sets of customers remember me and liked me enough to give me shit cuz i wasn't all bouncy lol. Ive got shit on my mind lol give me a break lol.

The boyfriend became a non boyfriend due to his own stupidity. It took Mae a couple weeks to notice he wasn't around. So that's all good. I've picked up a booty call but it's the worst booty call in the history of booty calls lol. He somehow thinks its ok for him to call me to come get him to have monkey sex at 2am. Ok if I didn't have the kid...cool, if i didnt have to work..cool...but um i am not wasting my gas for booty lol. If you got to drunk to drive your ass over for hot wild monkey sex then too bad so sad! I'm not chasing that. Though it was very flattering to listen to what he had to say all i could do was laugh. He's 27 and he could be fun lol if he can get his shit together lol.

Ok so what shouldn't have bummed me out just totally bummed me out. I lost my plates! Damn it i know all of the stuff here isn't mine but seriously theres a plate my mom is giving my sister and it pisses me off. My mom is seriously standing here ranting next to me and giving me a real hard time about this shit and shes talking to me about how i should be thanking her because of everything. I am not allowed to feel what i feel. I cant even have my own emotions and leave and stop something she follows me. I have thanked her and thanked her im not going to debase myself any further!

I am sooo fucking tired of all these fucking bullshit games my mom plays. Fuck seriously? And then tell me how to live in my house, what i can do in my house and what i should do and just be a bitch to me. She went without she this she that. She didn't do or say anything because it required an effort. Hell you want me to kiss your ass you better think again. I have said thank you. I had to be yelled at over 6 dollars and I had/have to repay 700 bucks that was actually mine to begin with!

I am going to miss that plate! The dishes are hard for me to part with because I used them my whole life. My mom says that means nothing because she used them too blah blah...um it is something to me and Im important. If anyone needs to be thanked its Grandpa because he's the one who worked all those years at John Deere to provide for his family! So thank you Grandpa for my new house!

Ok now im so pissed lol that i lost my train of thought. I'll probably have to blog tomorrow too because there are going to be words at this house! Words I tell you!!!

And im supposed to be excited lol