Really nothing new going on...still baby daddy drama. Today he sends me a text and is like today or tomorrow for Mae. I was driving and couldn't text, so like the idiot I am...I called him.

Told him that she wasn't coming this weekend....BECAUSE HE HAS PLANS. Ooo that started the drama meter going.

He started going off on me. Telling me that I take advantage of him. That I know his weakness is his daughter. That's about when I hung up.

I tried to remind him that HE TOLD ME he wanted to go to this benefit tomorrow for a former coworker of mine who is dying of cancer. Ok so I remember that he says this to me, and I don't want him drinking in public with her, AND I'M THE BAD GUY!

How the hell am I the bad guy when for once I knew about plans he was making. Plans he told me he was going to do. Plans that he confirmed on facebook as going to this benefit. But I'm the one who is doing something wrong.

Hell as it is, I'm kind of afraid someone at his end of things has "touched" her. I'm not "accusing" anyone, but some of the behaviors that have come out of her recently make me nervous. Especially when he said something to me about the family curse. Yea not so happy. She has taken to touching herself and pinching her nipples, and trying to suck on my fingers. I have concerns.

So we will be talking to her about that when she goes to see the psychiatrist.

BUT back to the whole drama. How have I taken advantage of him? If you can't or don't want to have Mae with you on a certain day or time..BE A FUCKING GROWN UP and tell me. If you don't tell me how am I supposed to know?? I am not a mind reader and have never claimed to be.

Oh wait...maybe I took advantage WHEN MY GRANDFATHER WAS IN THE HOSPITAL DYING! Oh wait...how can you take advantage of a person WHEN THEY OFFERED?? Oh wait I forget..just because you offer doesn't mean you should take that person up on it. I tell you what though, even with the hell we went through at the hospital and how angry it made me, I am greatful he took her. It gave me more time with my grandpa, even if it was a bad time.

So fuck him! He gets his kid way more than some parents do and there are parents out there who would kill to have their child as much as he does. Next weekend she can go, BECAUSE as far as I know...he doesn't have any plans. Yea i made plans for him this weekend because i'm so controlling of his life. When oh When I want to know will he ever grow up and take responsibility for his life?

Personally it's a real shitty time in my life right now and I don't have time, energy, or desire to do whatever the hell it is he claims I'm doing now.

Anyways...it's getting closer to letting it all out.