Some days~

There are some days that you just wish you could start all over again. This day is only partially like that. Well, if there is any fallout then it will totally be like that lol.

I woke up before the alarm this morning and didn't feel so hot. No big deal, figure I just needed to get moving and awake. Which was the case. Did the typical Monday morning routine and set about to be lazy till pick up time.

When you drop/pick up your child from school you have to sign in/sign out the child. Well today when I picked her up there was an action form. OMG! I gasped, literally, gasped out loud.

The form was for me to sign and be put into her file. I don't know what happened, but I do know my child well enough that maybe she wasn't provoked. Hey maybe she was and I'm just a bad mama for not believing the best of my child. Anyways!

Mae BIT another child on the shoulder so hard that she left teeth marks. They put her in time out. Talked to her about it being a red light, a no no. And from me they got the promise that we would be TALKING about this incident.

It's hard to talk to an almost 4 yr old about their actions. Especially mine. She just doesn't get it sometimes. Sometimes she totally gets it. But she doesn't tell you things. She really does live in her own lil world. Sound familiar lol.

We talked about how you do not bite! How it is not nice and acceptable behavior. And that she would have a consequence, punishment for being NAUGHTY! Even at 4 the punishment sucks for the adults lol.

We tend to let her take over the tv during the day. Well at least until Grandpa's shows are on. So I took tv away from her today. Well she can watch it, but it IS NOT on any of her channels. We got home from WalMart and grandpa decided it was ok for her to watch tv.

UM HELL NO! It's hard enough to enforce punishment with him, we are not going to start letting shit slide on this scale. So I told him again, FIRMLY, that Mae does not get to watch her shows today! She can watch them tomorrow. I'm sure by tomorrow she will have forgotten about why, so one day is good enough.

Ooooweee, it's been an interesting afternoon. Her toys didn't occupy her. The only thing that did was being all up my butt! Nothing new there, except it was ALL DAY lol.

I've expressed my concerns before about my parenting of Mae. The frustration, joy, horror, laughter, all of it. Well I did something about it! I contacted a counseling service and we are now going to be getting assistance. We started last Friday and this Friday will be our second session with the lady. Wow nice that I have something new we need to address and we just freakin started!!

The flip side of Mae today though was she shocked her teacher at school with how smart she is. She recognized almost the whole alphabet today. The letters were out of order and Mae was able to kick butt. Wooooo yay Mae, but the biting!

The second part of the day was a conversation I had with Katie. As you well know I'm always trying to find ways to be with her. With tax time upon us, I have some money so me and MY GIRLS can do something together. And Katie has spring break coming up.

Well I asked her if she wanted to do something with us, because I needed the dates of her break so I could plan. Well she hemmed and hawed and was all I don't know what we have going on. I asked her, do you have band? No. Well then what's the problem. She told me she didn't know what was going on at the house!

That's when I changed tactics and probably came off like a big ol bitch! I told her That I loved her and she was going to be an adult soon and I was going to talk to her like an adult. I told her that if she doesn't want to spend time with us, if she doesn't want to be with us, if she doesn't want to do things with us, that I wanted to hear it from her mouth. I wanted her to tell me to my face(ear) that she wasn't interested. That it would be much better than thinking she wasn't allowed to come. She understood, or so she said, you know teens. Then she was like again about stuff going on at the house. I told her that her helping my sister with her daycare kids was not a reasonable reason for not spending time with us! I also told her that I would like to know by the time of the hotel party.That way I could plan and get it done without rushing. Remember I'm a planner lol.

I'm waiting for this to bite me in the ass though. You know that Katie has to ask permission. I also know that there could be a discussion about what was said. After that last text from my sister, I'm really waiting to see what comes from this. I'm going to go with the assumption that Katie is going to say no. Well I called my mom after talking with Katie to let her know what I had said and such. Because if my sister is going to implode/explode it will be with my mom first. She didn't have a problem with what I said to Katie, she was just concerned about how we ended the call. Which I totally get, but we ended it well. At least it was well when I got off the phone with her. I told mom what I said about the babysitting not being a viable excuse.

That's when I got irritated with my mom. She told me well she has to help, or she helps out and...that's when I cut her off. Seriously it is my sister's business. It is my sister's responsibility. It is my sister that gets the paycheck and spends it the way their house needs it spent. Katie is almost 16 she shouldn't be expected to help out or not be able to make plans because my sister wants help. I know for a fact Katie already helps out with the 3 kids my sister has of her own.

So no I do not think that her helping my sister is a good reason. Like I said though, I asked Katie to give me her answer at the hotel part. That gives her 18 days to make up her mind. Again, I am all prepared for her to turn me down flat and if she does. Well that just means I stop trying.

I can't let this hurt me anymore. I don't know what to do anymore and to be honest...while giving up on my child isn't very nice. It's what I am going to have to do because I also have Mae to focus on. Sadly Katie won't ever know what she is missing with us because my sister's husband was able to give Katie everything I would never have been able to give her. One day though, maybe Katie will see what is really important and see that it's not all like she thinks it is.

Heres to that tax return making it into my account really really soon, I need a mini vacay!