The Break Up

She wants to tell you that she's breaking up with you. Insert stunned silence and an expression of pure WTF?! Those are the words that my lil 5 yr old decided to say to him this morning. After he was nice enough to buy her a donut lol.

Oooo I felt sooo sorry for the poor guy. Who gets broken up with by a 5 year old? Im sure that there is some kind of woman out there that would use her kid to do it lol but I'm not one of those lol. Id for sure tell him to his face that it was over.

Fortunatly in between bouts of russian hands and roman fingers there was chatter. During the chatter I told him about my mom and how she just cant let me be happy. She has to be thinking stupid shit and saying shit to me that just drives me nuts. So i said to her on the phone yesterday that I was just going to have to break up with him then since he was an issue between me and her. That she was just so whatever that I couldnt deal with it and maybe I should just break up with him so the pieces you keep saying youll have to pick up are there to pick up. Noo noo no thats not what im saying lol but damn sure sounded like she was lol. So i told him about it and how i said that.

Not even an hour later there is Mae telling him that I want to tell him about breaking up. Ooooo good lord lol. I looked at him and said....not something you expected to hear today huh lol. This is being said while we are both pouting about not being able to see each other til next monday NIGHT! Also said good thing i told ya about it earlier huh lol. He was all like yeah!

I dont know if it was a fight or just growing pains; but im really leaning towards growing pains. He was in a mood this week and my mom just latched onto that to use as a well if hes this way now blah blah. I was like mom he had a fucking bad week, it happens! Well you said he was bitchin and moanin about so n so, Mom everyone bitches about so n so, well whats he gonna be like...mom we are only 3 weeks old...no your not , yes we are, no your not, yes we are...laid out the time frame...ooo, yeah ooo let us be lol, we are very new. I have to get used to having a boyfriend i havnt been with a man in years! And the ones i hung with if they got in a bad mood i could just leave. Give me a chance to get used to being with someone else. Oooo and btw we already talked about it. We discussed what to do when he has a mood, and blah blah. You know the stuff youre supposed to when your new. All because i said to my dad that i was mad at him was why i decided to cut the grass. Yeah he was irritating me cuz he was in a mood and it was coming across in texts. how do you be evil and bitchy to your man when he's like that and your annoyed? you cut the grass so he cant use the riding mower. DUH..but mom was all over it and jesus swear to god that woman cant handle this. Cant handle that hes not a bad guy. That im not making excuses the truth is i have been single for way longer than ive been with him lol i have to get used to a lot of things.

Growing pains...it happens!

Next Tuesday will probably be the blog that all it says is Sore be back later lol. We have a routine going and this week its all screwed up with the holiday and Mae going to the clinic in iowa city, and our work schedules. Since I work on Thursday we wont get to see each other then. Unless he comes into my work for supper lol. And then I cant guarentee that Ill have time to talk to him. Whenever you get visitors at work it gets busy lol.

Anyways time to go beat the child until she makes her bed lol. Ok i found a way to watch tv lol. Discipline the girl! She is 5 and can make her bed. So every day she has to make her bed and she cant come out til its made. If it takes her 3 hours to make it thats on her cuz I said make the bed and then come out. Not my problem if she wont make it for 3 hours lol. Ahhh the joys of being a parent!

Anyways I think some tv time while the kid is occupied is in order...all i have left to do today is vaccum, so im going to veg out!

Sabotage?

You know how we all worry about sabotaging our relationships? I don't really have to worry about that. My mom is busy doing it for me lol, though its only in her world lol.

Because of the ex's that I have she is really really worried about having to pick up the pieces lol. Today she told me she wondered if there was another girl. I was like wtf really? If there was another girl I really feel sorry for her because he is constantly texting me, talking to me, stickering me lol and turning the car around cuz im turning into a lil horndog lol.

I have no fear of him cheating. We have covered that topic several times already and we both agree that it's best to get out before hand. Anyways lol it was funny that she said that because I was just on the site we met and his status lol was partly miss and love my girlfriend. Told my mom guys who meet girls online and cheat dont put that stuff up there especially when the girlfriend has a pic of the two of them as her profile pic. Other bitches dont stand for that stuff especially if they are the i dont care that hes yours kind of bitches lol. They live for that drama lol.

So heres to not having to worry about self sabotaging it lol.

Ooo and i think he is really getting to like the whole taking care of your man thing it may be my turn to have created a monster lol.

Spank you very much

Oooo i am such a bad bad girl lol. Oooo sooo bad that the non spanker is threatening me with a good time err spanking lol. I can not help it that he called me and i just had to tell him that i was sitting here drippy, wet, and half dressed.





It is sooo not my fault that a uturn was made lol. That car has a mind of its own lol.





Yayyyy he came over lol. I got luvin and loving lol. Poor fella lol he finally did admit to me being evil lol. I told him that I never denied that one lol.





Maybe we should have waited for the quickie for tomorrow lol but hey he was in town and i just couldnt let him leave town unhappy lol.





Ok i need to stop lol i am turning into one big fuckin hormone lol. Between the luvin and loving lol i might not make it lol.

Too Much Thinking

Waking up at 6 am isnt always a bad thing. Sometimes it gives you time to think. And ive been doing way to much thinking lol. Its a good thing though. I had to have this time to think of what I was thinking.

The whole keeping it honest thing helps me think of other things. Like the joke ive been making about getting a trailer together, i need to stop that. I realized that it might make him uncomfortable and he may not take it for the joke it is. Also sometimes i over use a joke lol and it gets annoying.

So because of that joke I had another thought. This one was serious. He has to be ready to live with US. Not us being ready to live with him. Going beyond boyfriend/girlfriend is a big step. I need to back off with the joke because shit we arent at that stage yet. Were still at the almost 3 weeks official and cant keep our hands off each other stage.

Hell I have to learn how to, I think this is what it is, make love and not just have sex, or fuck. I am a good one for skipping steps and there are a lot of steps in this relationship that ive never even seen before. So why rush it. Learn and grow into it.

I also figured out its a good thing he has a legit excuse for missing my moms party. Work and the hours that he works. Its going to be a long weekend. We wont be in constant contact with each other. I can only imagine the shit I would take if I sat on my phone the whole time. Plus we wont have seen each other since maybe Thursday...ooo maybe he can come over Friday before we go to my moms...that would be nice.

Omg horndog city over here. So sorry, maaaan i have it bad, he has it bad and thank god we have to keep it honest lol.

Whewwwwww

I just cant sleep lol. Its like a fucking drug and Im coming off it lol. Had a hard time falling asleep last night and i was totally exhausted from the weekend. And then it was a phone call from my mom from the next room at 5 am wanting to know when i was getting up lol.

I went to bed an hour later than i planned and then had trouble sleeping. So i finally took a pill going on midnight and reset the alarm for like 520 lol. But with the phone call lol i was up by 10 after lol. Which was a good thing because Mae was up right then lol.

Surgery went well. My kid is awesome lol. She bounced right back from being gassed lol. She came out of recovery and you could see just a lil bit of the anesthesia left. By the time we got home she was ready to play. Up at 5 out by 930 lol and then she spent 2 hours at the park.

How the hell do you not let her go out lol. I know she probably should have rested but there was no resting for that kid. All it did was bring out the whiny brat that she has down pat lol. So i let her go to the park and outside to play.

It was a freaky day too because a long ago friend just popped up out of the blue wanting to know if i knew where another friend was. Um nooo and wow what the hell lol. Then my other friend came over with my paycheck and i went to cash it and left my laundry in the living room. She asked me if i knew my mom had someone coming over and i was like um no. So lol my friends cleaned up the small mess in the kitchen while I folded 3 big huge baskets of laundry lol. It was a team effort and my stove got cleaned lol.

I forgot what my friend was like but shes got some issues that i dont need to be around so this visit was nice, lets just not make it too many visits in a row. Not sure i want to reconnect because of life choices that she has made that i choose not to make anymore.

Did a lot of texting and confessing insecurities lol. My poor boyfriend he gets all these fucked up texts from me spilling out all this insecurity and shit that goes on in my head lol. I know im a bit crazy lol but im the good crazy lol I just hope he can deal with all the other crazy that comes with a girl like me lol. So far so good lol, God I really do have it bad lol. Bring on Thursday cuz then I get to hump his leg lol

Sex

Holy crap! Did you know that sex can boost your happiness level lol. Turn you into a blithering idiot lol. I thought I was happy with the guy; add sex to the mix and Im out of my mind with happiness.

It's a good thing we have conflicting schedules and can only see each other when we do. No sex Thursdays lol and All Sex Weekend lol. Its keeping us honest lol. We can only move so fast right now lol.

July he moves! Then I have to find a way to squeeze two days off in a row and gas money lol. It is hard enough to have him leave lol but to be somewhere that you have no reason only responsibilties that you have to leave for lol.

Maaaaan thats when the new will get worn off but until then there will be some mind blowing sex!

We are at the stage of we cant keep our hands off each other. BUT we have to, THANK YOU MISS RYDER MAE!! If she wasnt around this would be moving way faster than it should lol. We have to have "family" time before we get to have mind blowing sex!

I am wanted! Not just for sex or a body to use. We are being forced to keep it honest and thank god because if we werent I dont think it would be working like this. I am getting what I want! I am having all my needs met. I feel safe, secure, happy, confident, loved....this is the very first real relationship ive had that it feels like the last.

I love tha we cant keep our hands off each other, i love that we can watch a movie on the couch together, we can sit with Mae on the couch together and watch a movie, we can eat dinner together, this is where I want to be.

We are talking and communicating about everything. Its so strange to have almost no fear. There is always that small fear that your happiness will burst but you push it back until its either gone or you sabatoge it lol. But again having to keep it honest lol sucks but is really working in our favor for a good happy healthy relationship.

Can you tell Im stupidly in love and dont give a crap lol. Im so happy there should be a we hate happy people club with my picture on it lol. Anyways back to texting lol god im glad i have unlimited texting lol

And in all this

Mae...what a kid! I havn't really blogged much about her so I figured I should probably tell some Mae stories just in case anyone thinks she's been left behind on this journey.

Tuesday is surgery to remove her tubes. The doctor is going to put a paper patch in her ear to see if that helps and she doesn't need a fourth set of tubes. Girls a little hypochondriac lol so surgery is just what she needs to boost her lil attitude of im just a little girl lol.

We spent the Thursday afternoon outside playing in the pool. That girl stayed out for four hours and went through three sunscreen applications and finally said Mom i wanna go inside lol.

Her, me, and him all sat down for dinner the last two nights. Im trying to teach her to slow down when she eats and to keep her mouth closed lol. I've taught her to use her spoon and fork together so she doesnt slurp off the plate lol.

We spent a couple days last week curled up on the couch watching movies. She's done a lot of lap sitting lately.

Tonight lol I had her up in the air. She was on my feet and I lifted my legs and her up. Fun for her good exercise for the mama lol.

Today she said her favorite part of the day was going to the cemetary to see grandpa cuz we miss him. Sooo very sweet but i also think possibly manipulative to try to get something she wants because its pretty much what i said to her earlier so who knows. She is 5 after all, they all have issues lol.

We went to church the last couple sundays at 8 and then today we went to church in Oelwein. We sat with what would be her Great Great Aunt and then went to the cemetary together. We fixed the flags and Mae helped tape the flags and flowers. Then Mae took the invitation quick to lunch lol. I have no money, Im broke. So now I have to figure out a way to return the favor lol.

I found out earlier from my Aunts daughter that she really enjoyed being with me and Mae. That she told her all about the lunch, the things i was trying to teach her. She was even surprised when Mae started saying the Our Father in church today. Truth be told so was I because she usually wont do it in church. Then, thank you lord jesus for giving me a brain lol, my Aunt says to me something about her learning the Hail Mary. I laughed and told her we were actually working on it lol and she knew some to most of it.

It was a sad but good day. I really enjoyed it. The only bad thing was that he ended up working a 14 hour shift. He's not real happy. But Im a good girlfriend and I have a towel ready in the bathroom for him, a plate ready to throw in the microwave, and then there is always my charming self lol.

Well hell guess he's right, keep yourself busy and the time goes faster. Time to heat up some dinner I think.