I'm kinda breaking the rules of Mae. Kinda but not really lol. In the last, probably, 3 months I've been chatting with this guy. I don't often add people to my yahoo messanger, because well they are all stupid!

So I don't add to my lists much. So I've been talking to this guy for a bit, and no I'm not trying to get with him lol. He has a daughter who is like a month younger than Mae. How cool is that? Pretty cool by the end of this blog lol.

The rule I'm breaking is that Mae doesn't meet ANYONE! Let's go back to the John situation lol remember he didn't get to meet her til after a minute lol. I do not believe that Ryder has to see all that mommy does. That's why when I go out, it's when she's at her dads. She doesn't deserve that. She deserves my all and she gets a lot of it lol.

So I decided awhile ago that we(RyderMae n I) were going to go to a hotel waterpark because she missed the party. Ok so she isn't invited to go to the party because she's a wild child lol.

My original plan was to take her to Wasserbahn(look it up and check out the family suites) and get the cool room with the bunkbeds. Somehow though the rooms I wanted ended up being close to 500 bucks! Um hell no! I can't justify that! No way!

So I was all upset about not being able to do what we wanted and then my mom steps in and tells me about the hotel waterpark my cousin and her family went to. They have little girls like Mae and they had an awesome time! The only difference....Wasserbahn is like an hour away and the Ramada Tropics in DesMoines is two hours away! Aughhhhhhh!

Well I had also told my biodad that during Mae's spring break we might come down and visit. Sooooooooo now instead of the original hour away we are going two hours away. And that's where I kinda not really break the rules of Mae.

My friend and his daughter also live in DesMoines. So I thought what the hell we have four passes for the park, why not invite them to come along too. Not only would I meet my friend, but our daughters would have someone to play with. Ok so Mae would have a playmate since she is the one doing the pool lol.

So our plans got changed but we get to meet new friends and go see my biodad. Who is having some health problems. I don't know how bad but knowing my dad it could be a ploy for attention, or he really is sick and wants me to know.

I don't know. I just know that by Sunday I should be back to 100% and we are going to have a good time!

Do you think I'm breaking the rules, or is it just kinda since our plans originally never had anything to do with the guy n his girly, or is it just plain breaking the rules....

Stupidity! I hate it! I also hate when women are stupid....OVER THE INTERNET! Im on a lot of different sites that you leave stickers and stuff for other people. Ive also befriended people on those sites who I will never speak to, meet, fuck, or anything.



I just add or deny depending on my mood.



Well if you remember a while ago, some bitch that that she should contact me for whatever reason about my kiddo and my ex.



Well guess what...he told me she was psycho and omg is she psycho! She thinks I want her new man. Um this is the same chick who has had several men and an engagment all in the last 3 months, i think im being generous. How do i know? because she is one who puts the stuff up where anyone can see it. On the front page. So i dont have to go and look.



Now she is saying that i tried to stop people from talking to her. Um hello, i dont even fucking know you. How the fuck could i try to get someone to stop talking to you? Oh yea and as far as my ex being her ex...um he denied the shit out of her. So you know there is crazy.



Fucking someone doesnt mean you had a relationship!



Also Im supposedly trying to take her Master....Um hello...if the stupid bitch had any clue about who I am, she would know that Im not looking for what shes looking for. I don't have time for a Master. I want one, yes, but I don't have the time to devote to One. I have Mae, she is far more important than me hooking up with random people because they call themselves a dom and a master.



Yea, you know im on the mend when the stupid just keeps rolling!

Brand me a liar! It's not the 24 hour thing I had last week. Now I have developed a low grade temp, along with the chills.

Chills that shake you so hard that it hurts. Then just when I finally am able to find the rhythem of the chills...here comes the hot flash!

I've been able to be up for about 15 minutes at a time, while I'm all hot, and then it's out of it again for an hour plus at a time.

I'm telling you this is really fun. My mom is all over me and I even drove my dellusional ass to the store.

I have been out of it! I havnt been able to form many coherent thoughts. Right now is a good period lol, then ill go back to no lucidity.

It's absolutley crazy. I am having a hard time with Mae because I can't stay awake and on top of her. But so far so good.

Well here comes one of those wonderful hot flashes, which brings along the addled brain and then the bone shattering chills.

Here's hoping I'm way better before our trip on Sunday!

I am not real happy at this precise moment. I woke up this morning puking and shitting like my whole body wanted to turn inside out. To make it even more fun the puking started while the bathroom was occupied.

Nothing like puking in the sink and there isn't much you can do but try to keep your hair out of the ick and water.

All it is is the 24 hour thing I had a couple weeks ago. BUT it's not fun. You feel queasy pretty much all day, your insides feel like at anytime they could come out and you just want to sleep!

I tried to get someone to work for me tonight. There were 2 girls who said WE WANT HOURS...even gave the days and stuff. Do you think they worked for me? Hell no! One had an apptment when I was to start working, the other...not one peep out of her on 3 different numbers. Now luckily for me, the boss's girlfriend is covering my shift.

BUT why should she have to give her night up? I was all prepared to go into work tonight. Yes, I know sick and food just aren't a good thing. BUT i was fucking scheduled to work and I was going to go, even if it killed me. Why? because i was scheduled and its my responsibility to get there.

I slept all day, hell I even asked daycare to take her after school just so I could keep sleeping so I could go to work tonight. Yes! As fucked up as I can be, I do have a work ethic! So I spent the day in bed sleeping.

But you know how that is, the phone rings and texts and your just left going ahhhhhh. BUT today the only call I answered was from my mom. I was so sick that I didn't even call or text my friend to tell her I was sick. Just kept rejecting the call.

When I found out that I wasn't going to work, I went to pick up Mae and stop at the grocery store for dinner for gramps n mae. I didnt have anything because I was sick and planned on being at work lol. So at the store I call my friend and find out she's all worried about me. I told her you know i didnt even think to text you i was sick, because i was sick and just wanted to close my eyes lol. So also with me not answering the phone, there was the facebook message and then the silence by me lol.

On my facebook I put that I was hoping for good news. Yesterday I got a text from my bio dad, which i freaked at first because i didnt realize it was bio dad, i thought it was my dad. Then freaked again because its my dad. Yea crazy but it makes sense to me lol. He had an angiogram today and Im waiting to hear about that.

So my friend was a bit freaked. I didn't mean to do it, my head just wasnt cooperating lol. My body won the fight and slept lol.

But now I think Mae is going to Mcdonalds with the daycare lady and her two kids. Sooo nice! I have a feeling Ill be asked to watch the girls sometime. But thats ok! She did me a good turn. LOL if anyone wanted to assume i was faking monday sick lol ask my daycare lady.

She said not to be mean but you look sick lol. She said i always have color in my face and today nut huh lol.

Yay for being sick, yay for boss's girlfriends and fuck the bitches who want hours but dont!

Seriously I was ready to beat down the bitch who decided she needed to confront me in Wal Mart today!

Here's the thing, I was introduced to her one time. Alooooooooooong time ago. So long ago she doesn't remember. That and I'm not involved in her world. Her friend however is an acquaintence of mine. This person was once considered a friend but was downgraded in status because, well to be honest, she is fucking insane! No, medication wouldn't help this kind of crazy!

Anyways...one of my friends is banned from WalMart. Like so banned that if he goes there he gets a free ride downtown. They have his picture and shit. How do we know this? Because after he was banned he thought it was a good idea to go to WalMart.

I'm checking out and I look down the aisle and there is my friends son. So I yelled out to him, BIG smile on my face, and said Hey your not supposed to be in walmart. AND I LAUGHED. He yelled back no that was his dad and was smiling.

This bitch with them decides that EVEN THOUGH THE BOY HAS ALREADY ANSWERED that she needs to show how big and bad her short skinny ugly nasty pink dyed nasty self should come on down and get in my face. IN FRONT OF MAE AND GRANDPA!

Ok so by being willing to beat her down in front of god and everyone that makes what she did worse, but still! She's in my face talking about i dont know her and i cant tell her this....whatever the fuck she was saying. At that point I was just trying to get my shit together because Mae wanted her hair cut and was buggin me. I looked at her and told her no you don't know me and you need to step off because whatever else I said. She said some more shit and was talking big as she walked away and I of course dont shut up easily.

Maaaan let me tell you what, ghetto fuckin trash like that is why I pray to god that my kid's are smart enough to stay in school.

This is why I think and know I am better than some people. Why i think and know I am a better parent then some people.

Seriously...you think its appropriate to have to prove your big and bad or whatever that you cause a scene where there was nothing to make a scene over? And to someone you don't know. Hell I could be an escaped mental patient just waiting to do some damage. I could be some sociopath who doesn't have a problem wacking you. I could be some serial killer who would follow you and you get where I'm going.

And to do it all in front of my family. WTF...I was joking with someone I knew. Who knew I was joking with him. And now there's fucking drama!

I tell you what if I have to beat down 2 skinny bitches I'm going to be pissed because that would mean I would have to go to jail. And I make it a point never to go to jail! Holding cells don't count lol

Just a bit pissy

I got my computer back on Tuesday, twice! I told my cousin I've seen you three times now and I should only see you twice a year. Once for my computer and once at my moms house for the family reunion.

So far this year Ive seen him 4 times! Did I mention I take my computer to the company he works for? LOL, No...well then maybe I should so you don't think me a bitch lol.

Thankfully he is nice and gives me a discount on my virus removal. Because this year alone I've now had 2 of the same fucking virus. You know that wonderful antivirus virus, THAT NOTHING IS STOPPING, yea that's the one I've had twice now.

He told me though that even his customers that don't visit high traffic sites like I do are getting this virus.

I am pissed off at the makers of this virus. Go get a real fucking job if you need money. Don't try making it off unsuspecting people. Luckily for me, I'd never give my cc out for somethign like that. My cousin told me that not only are they making money on the removal, but he has had clients who paid for the bogus shit.

I'm pissed off that these sites don't take a minute more than they do to make sure their sites aren't compromised.

I love playing around on Yearbook, but now I know that I can't go much past the homepage. I've also implemented a new rule. If i see a yellow bar at the top of my page and I didn't click on something then I'm closing my browser right away, no extra clicks, just hit the red X and open a new page. I'm hoping this works!

Tax money won't be around forever and I'd like to stay online lol. I use it for entertainment but for also looking things up for my mom, staying in touch with family, and cmon I'm a bit addicted lol.

But in all honesty I'm pissed because these virus makers have nothing better to do then steal hard earned money from people. Get a fucking job! Get a fucking life! And most definitly stay out of my fucking computer!!

Breastfeeding while on the clock

I am a huge fan of breastfeeding babies. I don't care if you do it for a day or for a year, but I believe strongly that every baby should be breastfed for sometime. I don't come down on parents who decide that's not for them. I just believe in the power of the breastmilk.

Why am I such a believer? Because in this day and age of sanitize at every turn I don't think a kid's immune system is all that. Do I have any medical knowledge of what I'm talking about or about to say...Hell no, just experience.

My two children were breast fed. One for about 3 months and the other 8 months +. My oldest I just wasn't mommy enough to give her more than that, I was after all all of 19. RyderMae however got the boob til she was done which was about 8 or 9 months. Both of my children are hardly EVER sick with anything other than the common cold and ear infections. When Ryder gets the nasty puke stuff, which in almost 4 yrs has been a handful of times. I credit the breast milk because hello we are over sanitizing the world. My comparison comes in the form of my sisters sickly children. They weren't nursed, and though she thinks she's breastfeeding them, they have gotten way more formula because she does the pump n dump so she can still drink.

Her kids are always sick with something besides the common cold. So thats where I'm drawing some of my opinion. I have read lots of articles that tell all the things the breastmilk helps promote and what they think it helps promote.

I also have NO PROBLEM with a mom whippin a tit out to feed her kid. I don't care if its covered or not. Most women cover because well in our society it's what's at least expected.

So how do you feel about going into buy a sandwhich at your favorite local sub shop and walking around is a worker nursing her baby. Not just nursing the baby in a quiet out of the way spot, BUT walking around for all to see knowing what she's doing while the only other employee tries to work down a line by herself?

I would be pissed off. Especially knowing that this is a mother who suppliments with formula. There is no reason for her to have her child at work to be fed. The girl who was working was pissed off. She helped a big line of customers and made 4 bucks in tips. Which the breastfeeding mom wanted half of.

Hello...you weren't working. You were nursing your baby, on the clock, doing nothing that resembled work.

Yea i know its a stupid bitch, but its a gripe none the less. The other girl didn't want to speak up, i made a phone call. HOpefully its been addressed. If not, god help the girl if she ever tries to do that to me!

Anyways it was a short rant. Bottom line...dont be nursing your baby while on the clock at work and expect me to be ok with doing all the work. Its work not a daycare!