*waves hi to Brenda*

My ankle isn't all better. It still hurts and is swollen. I have to work Friday and Saturday night. My phone rang three times for me to work today.

I'm a little bit irritated. First call was the girl i blogged about the other day. Fortunatly my drive wasnt plowed out when she called because her pipes were frozen. Seriously?? We just had a blizzard come through, your in your like 40 something, you have lived in a trailer before, and your telling me that your pipes are frozen? HELLO everyone knows you have to leave EVERY faucet running or else those bitches will freeze. If you didn't take care of business, that is soo not my problem.

Then I was talking to Brig and there was a message. Called and E from work can't make it tonight because she didn't get plowed out. Well I may have fibbed a bit and said I was still snowed in too. Well truthfully my ankle is my issue. It, however, isn't something that concerns anyone.

Then my girl K calls me. She was going to come help shovel so she didn't have to work a double. I was like K my ankle is jacked up. I was outside shoveling and it popped again. I have to work Friday and Saturday. I need to stay off it tonight so i can work MY SCHEDULED shift. So then the boss starts sending out a mass text. Trying to find someone to work the shift and to text him back. I texted him and was like look man my ankle is jacked i have to work my shifts this weekend im not working tonight. Some where along the texting highway something screwed up. He sent me a text back asking if i had my shifts covered. I was wtf? He thought i wasn't coming in. I texted him back and explained again. Sorry i hurt my shit, but im staying off it tonight so i can work what im scheduled. if it still hurts tomorrow, im still there, ill tough it out because IM SCHEDULED to be there. DUH!

I blame the damned snow! If it could have just stayed away for a bit longer lol. The biggest downer of them all? This was only the first snow of the year!

Heres to everyone getting plowed out, im sick of people wanting me to cover a shift lol

By the time you read this, hopefully, i have gotten the cars unburied! I am obviously procrastinating doing it. Its very very cold outside! I have to go run some money over to my friends house or else id just let them fuckers sit snow covered till tomorrow when i have to go to work.

BUT that really isnt an option because we have to at least try to start the cars. BUT ITS COLD OUTSIDE!!! I dont wanna go!

So i sit here looking at my socks on the floor, sitting next to them are my sweat pants, and i know where my coat and gloves are at. I dont want to i dont want to i dont want to!!!

But its my job because you do not send the 3 yr old or the 89 yr old out to do it. I had wanted to take Mae with me outside, just to blow the stink off her, but its wicked evil cold. Sooo she will stay inside warm n comfy on grampas lap watching Sesame Street.

Ok i guess i cant procrastinate any longer. Time to take my big fat butt out and brave the snow and stuff. Lucky for me my ankle is feeling much better today.

Send me warm thoughts, im sure by the time you read this ill have just started to thaw out lol. Good thing i already put supper in the crock pot!

Well its almost a week later and so far ive gotten Mae to lose most of the weight she gained by going to that house!! She still has one more pound to go before she can get back to last weeks weight.

I called my mom to tell her the good news! We are serious about her not gaining weight! We are serious about keeping her healthy! The only person not on the same page...yes, you guessed it! The person who provided half her genes!

My mom wants to know what he feeds her. Um duh! Pizza rolls(like 15 at a time last i knew), regular pizza, and who knows what else!! I know at home its hard for me to control what goes in her mouth because of my grandpa.

He wants to give her whatever she wants so she wont cause a fuss! Well screw that, she can cause a fuss! There is NO WAY i am going to end up with one of those Maury kids! Which is where she is headed if I dont change things! The reason i say I is because it seems like im the only one who really gives a crap!

There is no reason for her to gain anything more than a pound or two a day, thats because of her daily food intake. But when you weigh her in the morning she should be back to where she was. Which is what WAS going on at my house!

Like i said ive gotten her back down, but it sucks! Ive gotten her kind of retrained when it comes to meal time. Instead of asking for seconds she is now asking for fruit. Yes! Something is going the right way.

She loves grapes, but you cant give her a ton. She loves the clementine oranges. She gets one! Yesterday however, i did give in and gave her an ice cream. Yes i know, bad bad. BUT she hasnt had any "treats" and she did eat some of her dinner which she totally hated. Welfare Tuna n Noodles. It was good to the rest of us lol, but she choked down her dinner. BUT...i didnt give her the ice cream treat till WAY after we had dinner!

Weight is really easy to put on, hard as hell to take off. Im sooo tired of being the only one(outside my family) who actually gives a shit.

While ive been told by other people that its a good thing i didnt get the Subway job, maaan, i really wish i could have because then i could have stopped visitation at that house! I would have felt bad for Mae if that would have happened, but i would have gotten over it because its in her best interest.

I hate having to make the hard choices! And part of that is that i have to keep my crap job and work saturdays. Which means i need daycare. God...seriously...when will that jackass figure it out that her health is important and that doing things MY way is what is best for her?

I know the answer, its all about control for the jackass. Control is something that is sorely lacking at that place. All that the jackass has tried and continues to try to control HURTS my child. But i cant change the jackass, and i have to accept that he does not give a shit about his child, just like the other 2 he abandoned. Maybe we will get lucky and he will abandon Mae and then he can tell whoever will listen to how horrible the mom is and thats why he doesnt see her too!

Grrr heres to more venting!

Happy Dance, Happy Dance!! Normally i hate seeing that i have an email from the ex! I really do because it is NEVER anything good. Well today was the bestest email i could ever have gotten!

I hadnt told him yet that Mae wouldnt be coming over for Christmas. It was decided as a family that we just wouldnt tell him. We wouldnt talk to him or anything. That way he cant take anything out on Mae or have one of his womanly fits.

Well the email tonight said that he was working all the holidays. Oh joy oh Joy oh Joy!! Granted ill have to get a babysitter for NYE, but thats ok, i have a friend ill be using that night.

I was truly expecting issues with Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I have had to wait til Late Christmas day to be with Mae the last 2 years. This year i have a job where i wont be working Eve or Day and i planned on spending all that time with Mae. Ive missed seeing her Christmas morning, and ive missed being with her and just her. When you have to share with an asshole it makes it really crappy trying to play family when you arent.

So im happy dancing all over the place! My prayers have been answered and i dont have to deal with the asshole at all!!!

Heres to sometimes the email being a good one!

Back to feeling like crap about Christmas! As you know i feel crappy about having to ask for the help with Christmas. Well last night was the icing on the i feel like shit cake!

My Aunt C called me last night. I was kind of shocked, i thought something bad may have happened. My Aunt and i were really close when i was growing up and into my early twenties. Then some how we lost connection. I love my Aunt dearly and she was one of the people i will always have respect for.

Well nothing bad happened. She was calling because her company is the one that adopted our family. She said she was like hey i know who that is. She was calling because they wanted to know something else that my grandpa might want because all we asked for was a lot of goodies, treats for him. I told her that he hadnt wanted anything, but you know he could use a new tv tray.

I went on to tell her what was going in in my life, what i had accomplished and that i felt horrible about having to ask for help. She told me not to feel bad because if it wasnt us, someone else would get it. She didnt make me feel bad, she didnt make me feel like well your mom has money why are you asking.

Shes been there, done that. I know! She had a child young too and she struggled and she got her shit together. Which is what im trying to do with my life. In the description of my family it was said Im a single mom, raising my daughter, and taking care of my grandpa. You know i dont think of it as a big thing my taking care of gramps.

I feel that its my job, my responsibility, what i owe, what you do, its just plain and simply the right thing. Hes taken care of me my whole life, well its my turn to help take care of him at the end of his. No hes not dying, hes just in the process like the rest of us.

I get frustrated, and i get irritated, but i do it because i love him and family takes care of family. One of the reasons i havnt been looking as hard as i should for better employment is because of him and mae. Mae is easier because they have later clinics if i had to take her in. But gramps docs are the normal 9 to 5'ers. Plus we dont want him to do some things because of his age, mostly the driving.

So i take care of him, i rearrange schedules, i make sure he has medicine, i make sure he picks it up(with me or without), and i make sure that he has decent enough food to eat. He'd eat Taco Bell, McDonalds, Long John Silver's etc.. all the time if you didnt watch him. Ive also noticed recently that hes not into doing dishes. I found his cup one day and it was nasty. I washed it.

He would try to eat soup all the time too. Well i can cook, we have food, and i can make sure when i grocery shop that i get what he needs.

Still with all that i do, i still feel bad and guilty about asking for help because i cant provide the kind of Christmas's ive provided for Mae in her first 3 christmas's. How funny is it that this is her 4th Christmas and shes only 3 lol. But the first 3 i was able to get 'er done and get gifts for the rest of the family. This year i cant! The help im getting will enable me to get my other daughter a gift, even if its crappy. I can afford to get my dad 5 dollars worth of cologne and my mom 6 dollars worth of lipstick.

Ive gotten 2 cheap presents for my niece n nephew. I have one present bought for Mae already and i need to go out and get 2 more. Plus the picture frames i need to get(thank you Dollar Tree). Even that will put a bit of a cramp in my money situation.

I still feel like crap, but my Aunt helped me not feel soo bad about it. Im hoping next year is better. Then i will have the chance to pay it forward.

Sometimes in life you lose those that matter and then they come back and you remember why you love them and can try again to recconnect.

Heres to feeling like crap and someone helping to pull you out!

I dont know why i watch CNN,MSNBC, FOX...etc. Sometimes they ask questions that just send me running to my keyboard and start thinking of Dawn with her head just shooting off. Yea is another administration rant. The best thing about my ranting though, is im an ignorant uneducated blogger who doesnt mind just spewing my opinion.

I dont watch political stuff. I dont watch it because politicians are slowly fucking up the world. Gay Marriage...um the answer is yes! You know that all man is equal and blah blah. Plus your broadening your tax base, and your keeping the divorce lawyers happy. They have more people to chase.

Medical Marijuana...um the answer is yes. When your state actually has a group of senior's pushing for it because its helping with their issues..duh! Much cheaper then some of the other drugs that are legal. Marijuana helps in all kinds of things. But because some dumbass decided years ago to classify it the way they did...well yea its not going to go far for awhile.

Then there was Bush. Need i say anymore? Didnt think so.

Im flipping channels this early morning and one of the news stations had the question...Whos to blame for the current economic crisis? Obviously it started with Bush. And then Obama, with his i can change the world in a year, put the whole bailout mess in motion.

Putting out of business the little people of the big business. Handing out money to business's that used it the same way they always have, without changing. Bailing out some of the bad mortgages.

Those bad mortgages...come on thats your own damn fault. Some of those people KNEW they did not have the money to afford the home they bought. But they went ahead anyways!

Back to the bailout...remember the money to do construction on the roads? I think theres a problem when you have a sign made to tell you that this road being done with obama dollars(ok thats not what it says but you get the point) that costs upwards of several thousands of dollars in some states!

Now, from what ive been told because i dont watch the president, we have the distinct and real possibility of the draft returning. WTF....seriously?? Now we have to wage war in the country we were supposed to have been at war with back in 2001~ Somethins wrong with this picture!

Whose to blame? Unless i miss my mark it would be the Obama administration. They just had to pass this bailout, they have to pass healthcare, they have to this that and the other. What they forgot about is taking care of the people who actually fund the government. You know those little people like you, you, and you. The ones who pay their taxes, who pay too much tax, and definitly have too little income.

Whos to blame, Who's to blame?? Well i know who gets my vote. I still cant believe that people believed that you can undo a lifetimes worth of history, 12 years worth of crap all in one term. Even i knew that you cant do that much change without screwing up. Knew that change takes time and you dont just jump in with the money that we put there and waste it.

Heres to someone new in 2012.
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Winter has hit! We have somewhere between 1 and 9 inches of that white shit! I have no idea how much we have because none of the tv station websites have it on there. If they do its hiding from me. If your following facebook you already know some of this.

Got the groceries for the storm, check! Got the call from EMS(EMC(i forget), chWTF? The Emergency Managment or whatever sent out a phone call to like EVERYONE! Ive been answering the phone, in all kinds of weather, for like 20+ years. NEVER have i recieved a phone call warning me about the upcoming storm. Kinda freaked me out! I had to work tonight. Which means taking Mae out in this shit!

Knowing about this storm since yesterday I called my girl K at work and was like, um is there a storm policy? Nope, the boss does not close early. He wants to stay open no matter what. Pay 16 bucks for wages and make 0. Makes great sense to me! Anyways!

I shouldnt have gotten out of bed this morning lol. So i get a text earlier in the day asking if id work an hour early. FINE...big sigh....not that i had anything going on. Im just sick of this chick wanting me to come in early. Wanting me to work hours i cant work. Anyways, with the storm coming it was a good thing. Figured i could go early enough to pick up my paycheck, cash it, and maybe go get Mae a Christmas present, get some gas and get back to work by 4. HA! NOT!

Opened up my check, and what do i see? 77.81....my jaw just hit the floor. WTF is my money! I worked 3 shifts and i only got 77.81?? Ohhh not happy, not good! I owe a friend some money and i had daycare to pay for. I should have had enough money left for gas and for that present. Then the chick im already irritated with pops off with.. real snotty and bitchy... T-shirts came out of it...yea a whole 6 bucks this week, i dont think so! well you did your time card, you added it up, its your mistake. WTF??? My mistake? I dont fucking think so! I added it up and did the stupid math because the time clock was broken. Hell no i didnt fuck up! Thats money, you dont fuck with the money!!

The boss goes back and looks, yup my time card is right. It was an error on someone elses part. There isnt really anything you can do about it at that point, i sighed, and said just put it on my next check. You can bet your ass ill be putting a note on my time card to remind them of those 6 hours!! Thats 46.50!

I go to cash my check and get gas. On the way back from getting gas, two lanes over was a purple truck. 360ing!! All i could do was keep saying oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, please dont let him hit the cars on his side, because theyll end up hitting me!! Seriously...winter freaking sucks!

So then i have to work with one of the girls noone else really wants to work with. I said id work with them, i dont care. Well her and i were joking around, and then she went to her car and put some cardboard on her windshield. I was giving her crap about not doing mine, i really wish shed have done mine lol. I go out there to do mine and what do i manage to do??

I sprain my freaking ankle!! I was stepping down in the accumulating snow, and the snow and me had an issue and my ankle lost! It went POP and SNAP and i ended almost in the snow. I screamed! SCREAMED i tell you! It hurt like a bitch! OMG remember the blog about the last time?? Yea the only thing different this time was no alcohol and noone pointing and laughing!

It hurts, its swelling and im not happy lol.

Drove anywhere between 10-20 mph on the drive home. It was horrible! After all that im just totally freaking exhausted. Mae doesnt have school tomorrow because of the weather and im hoping to get some sleep before she gets up to destroy the house.

Heres to someday having ankles that dont feel the need to punish me!