So first night with all of us here. I freaked out.  I actually had the beer for the wrong reason lol. Generally if I'm feeling I NEED one then I probably shouldn't. But last night I had to medicate myself because my brain refused to accept that nothing was wrong and that everything really was ok.

Fucking hell it was hard to not micromanage people and just go with it. My snapchat has a couple things on it that are good. But damn it's hard on my anxiety introducing everyone into the house. 

Single for a long time makes it hard to give up your whole freedom.  But it is what it is and my doctor prescribed xanex and it's my friend and it's doing its job.

Tonight I'm making Mae a meatloaf lol I hope it turns out lol. At least I know the potatoes will turn out lol instant is hard to screw up lol. 

Well back to the movie and my kid. I think it's time for my second dose of the day.  I'm taking halves that way I can function yet still get rid of the anxiety.