I am so tired of the paranoia that isnt actually paranoia. I am very very happy right now and i have decided fuck it, im not going to hide it. I know that i have people who just cant find it in themselves to delete me from all their lists. Im tired of hearing that i am the one who needs to not share anything.

Why should I? I already have everything i can have set to private set to private. I have freely admitted that i put things out there that are nothing. I have pieces of paper around my desk that have sayings written down. Just the random shit that pops into my head that i share online. I dont see how its my problem that someone else is misinterpreting what im saying. The people who know me know that i do this. That its not a secret and its certainly nothing new.

I hate that i have to worry about what im saying is going to be misconstrued and i get stupidty out of it. For awhile i thought maybe i might just be paranoid and then i got a phone call from my mother. I had been tattled on. Stupidity! Then i look down at my saved messages and there is one from someone i deleted a long time ago. I wasnt just being paranoid.

But im tired of censoring my life. Maybe i dont have to share everything with everyone. Damn it, i would like to share that im happy and that things are good and the reason why im happy and things are good without fear of being watched and misconstrued.

I decided to take a stand for me! Im going to start telling some things publicly and the things i need to just get out can stay here. I want to share my happiness. I like hearing happy stuff and its been awhile since i got to share any personal happiness.

So im going to go on and do my thing, knowing that just because people are watching doesnt mean i shouldnt live my life and enjoy my life.

Now to just get through all the upcoming dates i have planned lol. Who knewe id end up needing a planner lol.