bored bored bored bored! have no money, noone is doing anything and now im sitting here waiting for a phone call or for it to be med time. oh and the 803439 texts from the kids dad.

though he is paying for school pictures! And taking her for my birthday. Ive spent so much time hating him its hard to be nice to him. but i just feel theres an agenda of some kind.

But im going to try to not hate for a while but who the hell knows.

back to im bored bored bored!

So once again I am on the child abuse registry. This time though I'm not alone! As i blogged, in which i thought was realitivly safety cuz i thought people had grown up. Well DHS was here twice and the case was founded.

Those of you may rememeber 6 years ago we had a domestic disturbance and we were both arrested. I however got to stay out of jail because i was nursing Mae. The officer wrote in his report he wasnt calling dhs because of this.

Well imagine my surprise when now im back on the registry and have to have home visits from the stupid dhs.

Here's where it becomes interesting the dhs lady asks me about my blog! Asks me about giving my knives away to a friend because HE SHOWED HER MY BLOG! And then the asshole feiend innocence about it like what did you want me to do lie to her? Um helllo she has no idea it even existed. This is all after he is telling me the wars and battles are over.

And yet another lie was that he got it from Robin who thought i assume that they just had to have this as ammunition to get them to take Mae from me.

So now Ive gone private when I shouldnt have to and it pisses me off that after 6 years he is still a fucking liar and lying to me. Why lie i wouldnt lie. But the whole blog thing never should have been brought up. I already disclosed my mental status.

So im all bright shiny and pissed off! Maybe that wasnt as interesting as i thought but it sure did piss me off!

Screw This

Ok so i figured out how to get the old blogger back and I can sort of run it but facebook me your email addy's and then ill just go ahead and make this one private. And when it is Ill fill the few readers I have on what the deal is. I tried the other blog i have but i dont like it so i want to stay here.

So send me your addy and Ill add you to my reading list. But you know its gotta be good bullshit if i have to go private since Ive never had to go private before now.

as soon as i get it set up ill post the new addy to my blog and youll just have to ask me on facebook for the password. Seems that some like to show my blog to dhs and ill leave it at that til i get set up. i have several to pick from so it will take me a minute or two to figure out where im going.

Well it looks like i've got my birthday covered! I know I know I have bills but those bills will be there after my party lol.

I plan on hanging out in my friends backyard and have a bonfire....IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK!! lol cuts down on the party goers and the amount of money i have to shell out for booze lol.

Butter crowns and beer...going redneck this year. Plus I have my ride all lined up so were good.

Mae didnt sleep last night so i didnt sleep last night. This is why i only take the ambien when shes not here because its hard to wake up wake up when shes up.

And thanks to the kids dad mae will not be around me til the next day lol. Im going to buy my own cake and smooosh it on someone lol.

Ok not much else to talk about except please let Mae sleep tonight lol

I'm sitting here procrastinating AGAIN! This time i dont want to take my meds. There's nothing to do and nothing to keep me awake. I just dont wanna go to bed now lol.

im used to keying down for hours after work not after only being home less than an hour lol.

though i am mulling over something the kids dad said. Ill ask him next week, but he offered to take mae on a day if i needed someone to take her. now im pretty sure thats applying to mental health issuse.

The question becomes does my birthday equate to a mental health issue? Is is worthy of him taking her after school on that day or not lol. im hoping yes. I think i know what  i want to do and i know where and who to do it with. Though my ride home probably wont attend the party lol.

i really want to party on my birthday and i have the time off already. Ahhhh i can almost taste my birthday lol.

I don't have a lot to say though Im pretty sure I do have a whole lot to say I just cant get it out of my fingers. so today im going to be a complete lazy slob who's gained a whole ton of weight back and do nothing.

i need to get back to work and be around the real people. talking to the voices i hear sometimes doesnt seem like that good of an idea. but what do i know. Oh yeah i took every psych and therapist apptmnt i could this week. I was told good job and petted on the  head.

i made my mom cry twice because of me this week, wasnt intentional. i  just dont think she gets the whole bi polar thing and that some little corner of her brain still thinks im just fucking around. dear god i wish i was fucking around. i wake up two ways...good mood or pit of rage in my stomach. i prefer good mood. but for those days that i feel rage ill have fmla to get out of work. thank goodness cuz i cant fake it for 8 hours lol.

everything is good im just bored to death and i dont want to hang out with my friends, just wanna be a blob in a blog lol