In need of a break!

Please please please someone come and steal my kiddo for a day or two! I am in need of a break. She's 5 years old and all 5 year olds do is run there mouth ALOT lol. No matter how late you put her to bed she is up at the butt crack of dawn lol.

I keep debating about calling or emailing the kids dad but everyone tells me the same thing and I have to believe it. It's not worth the hassle. I am sick to death of having to explain to Mae though why her donor doesnt come see her.

Then I realize that if he even cared about her one little bit he would get a cab to get her, he would furnish food for her and he would make an effort. Hell my parents are even on my side in this one. I mean it isn't my responsibility to make sure she is fed or gets over there. Its my responsibility to let her go if and when he decides to show up.

But then again when talking about it last night with my friend she reminded me of all the reasons why I'm greatful he doesn't get her. I don't have to go through with the name calling, the threats of not getting her back, the possibility of having to call the police to get involved.

So as it stands life at my house is stressed lol but thanks to friends that come over and friends that have kids coming over we do all right. Thankfully with my job I am able to afford the little things in life lol.

The direct tv though is going to mean I have to probably stop smoking lol. Maaaan I really hate when I have to stop smoking lol. Thankfully Im a cheap drunk and a bottle of wine can last for more than a day lol.

The truth hurts more than anyone can ever know and that makes people bitter and angry. Though lol i do love how people still believe everything they are told online lol.

Its been almost a month since Ive actually spoken with my mother and life is great. I miss her sometimes but then its just like the ex I dont have to deal with any of the shit that comes out of both their mouths when they don't hear what they want.

My sister is pissed off at me because I told my daughter the truth of the matter that my sister is not her mother but is her guardian that she knew me her whole life as her mother. Now Im supposed to never contact them again. Ok fine but eventually she's going to want to know whats up with us. Hell my sister even took me off facebook.

The best thing about being blocked by people is that you don't have to look at their lies, issues, hypocrisy, and their need to make the world think everything is perfect.

I have had perfect moments in my life but nothing is ever perfect. Thankfully for me I don't have to hide behind anyone else, I dont have to hide from my own mistakes, I dont have to lie to myself and others just so i can be the victim.

On the work front things are going great! I have customers who look for me, my priest comes through all the time, and the managers like that Im constantly smiling and doing my best. Ok so Im still lazy lol but I do do my job and have even had several of the csm's tell me they think I would make a good one. So I guess now I have to decide do I want to be lazy and just be a cashier or do I want to actually move up the ladder and see where that takes me.

All I know is that besides having a nonstop running commentary from Mae life is good. There arent many extras but hey thats ok because we live in a nice, clean house that is ours and we are doing ok!