Yay

TGIF~~ crosses self~~ I have today off! Ooo i am so happy to have a day out of the crazy place. I am really starting to believe if you weren't on medication before you started working where I work that you will end up medicated in some form.

We have one who drinks and falls down every couple months and fucks up her nose lol, another who sometimes is hungover but still there and doin her job, then theres me and well you know me lol ill medicate however i have to lol, and then add in all the actual crazy people who work there lol yea a day off is a good thing!

So not only did i go the crazy route in this relationship lol i took on a mama's boy. It doesn't bother me just its occasionally irritating. However lol if she has her way lol he won't be leaving this house alone in the near future lol. Her and Mae have this relationship that is awesome. She has herself a new grandma lol and this grandma is different then her other grandma. Its a beautiful thing to see.

I told my mom that I'm done with the family and to please not invite me to things or contact me blah blah. She made me talk to my dad. But seriously with everything that has occurred and will occur it's better to do it now. She doesn't realize how toxic our relationship is. Her personality and mine clash as much as they mesh. Im just done trying to live up to someone elses expectations and live the life they want for me instead of living the life I want to live.

By choosing my Forever I have set the path of my life. I will never have money, new cars, vacations, the extras. Guess what Im ok with that because I get to have my Forever and the family i want and need. Its going to be a lot of work lol but all I can see is this new family forever. I didn't cut Mae out of anyones life. Told them if they want to see her they just have to come get her.

I just want to live my life with as little toxicity as possible. Be entertained by the things that I find entertaining, knowing that with everything Ive done Ive gotten lucky to have a chance at a forever that will be good for me and my kiddo.

So im going to enjoy the net for two years and my direct tv for two years lol and at the end of those two years Im going to cry when I have to give them up lol cuz ya know bills gotta be paid and I make just enough money to not qualify for much of anything lol. Good thing Ive always known I have to work and ya know what as hard as this is....im willing to get it done for the sake of me and my kid because we deserve the love that this family brings to ours!