I am just in no moood let me tell you lol. I only have one mood and it's so psycho that it hasn't picked a name lol. Poor Mae isn't doing anything wrong but she is driving my anxiety through the roof! My mom who is on me about every fucking thing is driving my anxiety through the roof. My dad not being on me but being on me in that way he does is driving my anxiety through the roof. And on top of the ever present sometimes not so much present Grandpa issues....ta da!!! Mother Nature decided to show up in force!

It does however explain the need to eat as much as I can and to be so damned horny lol. I don't have a problem with not getting any. Except when I'm about to get my period. Then I want to hump anything that moves lol. Thank god that even though I would really love another baby I was smart enough to not take the hints about sex a couple weekends ago. The thought I kept having when fooling around was...this guy is fertile. He makes babies, he has 4 kids! I know i get pregnant when Im on a regular cycle schedule and I know that if I would have been irresponsible a couple weekends ago Id be sitting here blogging about being pregnant in a few weeks.

God I want to be irresponsible but I can not do it and I will not do it. Even though it would be so very easy to just give in. BUT on that front....I think that I've got my friend tamed down to remember that we are friends and that I can come over to his house or be around him or text him and it not mean ANYTHING lol. I have a feeling he's going to end up thinking that I'm out looking for dick because he's so stupid that he plays some stupid game with himself when it comes to me. Personally I could care less if we never kiss again, I just want to keep my friend lol. Because that fucker is funny!!!

Ok so I think I've gotten a bunch of bullshit out of my head and I'll be able to deal with reality a bit better. Made some room in there for new stuff to fill it up lol.. Like the big hotel party this weekend! There is so much work to do for the party and just day to day housework that Im feeling overwhelmed. That and my other feelings are all intensified because of my period.

Well I had something else I wanted to say but I had to get up because Mae set her alarm off. She had to go and make the biggest poopoo tower...her words lol and now she's all back in bed and I'm going to chill for the night and enjoy the fact that yes karma will be coming to bite me in the ass and even God can't get me out of this one lol.