Ok so I totally know it's been forever and I don't even know if this will post. But I had to go somewhere that's mine and put down some things.

So first let's start with Mae.  Currently she is in a group home because I can't effectively parent her or keep her safe. So she will be there for 6 weeks up to 6 months. It breaks my heart but it's what's best for her. She's 10 right now but what about 13? Get ahead of it before there isn't anything to change her.

Now for the second new thing. As you know I've been dating and enjoying the dates that I got. Well last Monday I did something I never do. I messaged a guy first because his pictures just called to me. So I said something like this is me saying hi first. A few hours later I got a short message back. Well before I went out I put up a status about who I wanted to meet. Well I'm sitting in the bar with the guys and I'm randomly answering messages.  Well one guy said he couldn't because he took an ambien. So I get home and not long after I get a message from the person I messaged.  And we started talking and then later that day we met. And that was it. For the past 4 days I've been with him. I was his girlfriend by the second day. Now it's looking like we're going to move in together.  How fucking insanely beautiful it is. This man makes me feel.  He's a man. He's been open about everything.  He is my physical and personality type. He works. He has no baby mama drama. Monday is my Dr's appointment so we  make none of those.

There are two seriously funny things about this. The first is literally an hour after he went to work Tuesday after we texted. I got my period.  Seriously lol but I told him I think that was a good thing because we couldn't jump any further. So we're both a little frustrated but it just means we talked. The second funny thing is the ambien guy....is literally his neighbor and friend. I saw him today and he is toootally not my type. I told him I'm glad his friend didn't show up because I'm mean and would have most likely been rude.

Now for him. He's 6 foot 4 with short red hair. Beautiful blue eyes. He is a man and that will be an adjustment because I've been independent for so long. He's affectionate and seriously just makes sense when he talks. His touch or thought of him is electric.  I am in serious serious like with him.

Earlier at the bar I complained to a friend that the boys were gone. Then I found exactly what I asked for. This is going to be the last major impulse I make. I don't care if I'm wrong or how I'm judged. This man is capable of being with me and has a way already of just making me snap to". 

It's not a d/s relationship. He's just a man who is a man. I finally stopped fighting him about gas money. I let him buy dinner. I've never had a man. And he's just like me and my friends.

I am seriously in like. I am seriously insecure.  And a little anxious.  But I see something that I haven't seen in many years.

Soon to be back in bed with the man I like like.